Why Working Girls From Broken Homes Date Like Romantic Mercenaries
Why working girls who have Instagram travel profiles date like romantic mercenaries.
In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a 38 year old guy who was dating a gorgeous Russian girl for about 6 weeks. She had lots of questionable pictures of Dubai, expensive places and things in her Instagram profile. She seemed like a dating mercenary. He got a little dopey and over invested and she dumped him saying she didn’t see a future together. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
*Disclosure: This article contains affiliate links. An affiliate link means I may earn referral fees if you make a purchase through my link, without any extra cost to you. Thank you for your support.
Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Members Only Newsletter is, “Why Working Girls From Broken Homes Date Like Romantic Mercenaries.”
Well, this particular email is from a guy, he’s 38 years old. I think he lives in LA. He was saying he was dating a gorgeous Russian girl. She’s about 26 years old, for about six weeks. However, she had lots of questionable pictures of Dubai, expensive places and things of that such on her Instagram profile. And so she seemed a little like a dating mercenary. And it’s pretty clear he seems to have gotten a little dopey and over invested. And so she dumped him, basically saying she didn’t see a future together.
And this guy, he’s 38, lives in LA, he’s 6’2. He’s good looking, comes from a good family, earns six figures, got a six pack. He goes to the gym daily. He’s got everything that women claim they want in a guy, yet, she didn’t see a future with him. Now, why is that? Because women don’t care about how good looking you are, that you’re 6’2, that you live in LA, that you make six figures. You come from a good family. That you got a six pack. They don’t care. All they care about is how they feel about you.
And if you act too dopey, and you act like you’re more into them than they are into you, you’re going to get rejected and friend zoned, and end up with a case of blue balls. That’s just a fact of life. And so on top of that, you know, as I’m going to go through this email here, I’m going to critique what he did wrong. But it looks like this woman really wasn’t a good candidate, because it looks like she’s one of those girls that basically gives up the pussy for nice purses, nice cars, expensive trips, expensive dinners.
Girls going to Dubai or hanging out with these rich dudes, going out in their yachts and experiencing these crazy lifestyles. And it’s the girls from broken homes that are doing that. Because there’s so many wealthy guys over there that are willing to do that. It’s like when you see that in a girl’s profile that she’s been to Dubai and all this stuff, all these expensive things, expensive yachts, you look at it and initially you’re like, “Oh, maybe she comes from a wealthy family and this is just what she’s used to.” And then when you realize it’s like she comes from a broken home, her dad’s an alcoholic.
He’s like, certainly didn’t get her money from the dad. And so we’re dealing with a mercenary. We’re dealing with a working girl. Are you like a hooker? Basically a modern hooker who gives up her pussy and her time for stuff, for money, for trips, for yacht fun, and who knows what the sheikhs are doing to her when they’re out visiting. But if you’re dating, you know this guy comes from a good family, so I assume he’s probably looking for a good woman to a date. Be a good mother to their children. But she comes from a broken home. So you can have fun with a girl like this.
But my goal when I go through this is point out what he did right, what he did wrong. Help him clean up his game. So when he meets a girl that he really likes and who has good high character and has the same value system that he’s looking for, he doesn’t mess it up. Because if he meets a good woman and he behaves the same way, he gets dopey, too accommodating, too nice, too soft. He’s going to get rejected for the same reasons, despite the fact that this woman is really just kind of a friends with benefits, fuck buddy, sex playmate, not serious relationship material. That should be obvious.
Viewer Email:
Hey Coach,
I’ve read the book about ten times and have watched your videos consistently for the past four years. I greatly appreciate your words and wisdom. I’m 38, live in LA, 6’2, good looking, come from a good family. I earn six figures, six-pack. I go to the gym daily, etc. And as you say, I’ve discovered none of this matters with women if they don’t “feel” for you.
Well, remember, attraction is not a choice. And if she’s attracted to you enough to date and sleep with you and then eventually breaks it off, that means you talked and texted her out of liking you.
I recently I dated a gorgeous 26-year-old Russian girl for 6 weeks. We had 8 dates. Every date I planned multiple fun activities and paid for everything. We started having sex, without a condom. I know. About 3 weeks in, she slept over at my place twice. She was extremely charming and intelligent. We could talk endlessly. I thought I was starting to fall in love with her.
I was like, Bro. Bro. You got to go slightly slower than women. So what happened was you started projecting your fantasy and your vetting just stopped. As soon as you decided you thought you were falling in love with her. There was no vetting going on at that point. You’ve just decided that she’s the girl for you. Despite all the red flags, obvious red flags.
I let her do most of the pursuing. If I didn’t hear from her, I’d wait 4 to 6 days then reach out to set the next date. A subtle mistake, however, was that I over-communicated my interest with my vibe. I couldn’t keep my hands off her, calling her “babe” on later dates.
Yeah, you didn’t exercise self-control. And so she knew that her beauty and her sex appeal affected you to the point where it was like Kryptonite on you. You couldn’t handle it. You couldn’t keep your hands off her. So you’re touching her instead of waiting for the invitation to touch her. And the reason why you go slower and you wait for her to start bumping into you and touching you, is because then that’s when she’s ready to be touched. She’s pursuing you. And The Book is designed to create the conditions where the woman is always pursuing and chasing you.
Because if you’re always pursuing and chasing her, you tend to smother her too much and chase her out of her life. And if you’re all handsy all over her, that means you’re touching her. You’re kissing her. You’re trying to have sex with her when she’s not even open to it. And you’re so clueless because you’re drunk on your own interest that you don’t notice it. And so this is why you got to practice this stuff that’s in The Book and not just read it. So when you meet a girl you really like, you don’t just fall apart completely and your game goes out the window.
But she seemed to reciprocate most of the time. Overall, I hung out, had fun, and hooked up, and didn’t bring up labels (she also never brought up exclusivity).
You didn’t need to bring up the labels. She knew you were hooked. She knew you were totally into it, and she knew you couldn’t tell that you were being very handsy and touching her at times when she wasn’t ready to be touched. That kind of gave off the vibe that you were an amateur. And like, you didn’t really know what you were doing.
Men who have lots of choices with women are calm, they’re cool, collected, they’re not in a rush. They’re totally okay with women coming to them at their pace. And you are not okay with her coming to you at her pace. You were too heavily invested in locking her down and making her your girl, and you gave off that vibe, and it seems like you kind of already know that.
That said, I was blinded to her red flags.
Yeah, you were so dopey and goo gaga over her. It’s kind of inevitable. You totally came apart. Basically, after the first time you hooked up, you probably took The Book and you threw it out the window like a Frisbee. It’s like, “I’ll skip it across the water.” It’s not going to help you if you do the opposite.
She had no relationship with her alcoholic father who cheated on her mom, she dumped her last boyfriend with a “Dear John” letter, she self-admittedly had many “obsessed” male orbiters.
Yeah. You came off just like another one of the dudes that was obsessed with her beauty and looks. And you communicated you couldn’t handle dating a beautiful woman. You communicated, you weren’t used to it. And women want a guy they have to win over. And you weren’t the guy to win over. Granted, she’s not really marriage or relationship material.
She self-admittedly had many “obsessed” male orbiters. She was materialistic and had lots of nice clothes, purses, and went to expensive places like Abu Dhabi. She worked an average-paying job and couldn’t afford these things on her own.
So when you see that she’s working an average job, that means you’re dealing with a hooker. You’re dealing with a woman who gives up the pussy for a good time and for money, and for nice purses, and yacht trips and nice cars and whatever else she’s getting. It’s the kind of woman you see on seeking arrangements. She basically behaves like a stripper. She’ll spend her time with you for money.
My spidey-sense would tingle when I’d see her post Instagram stories during the time we were dating. The stories were of her getting her hair done nice, dressed up, and going out to fancy places and dinners, it was always unclear who she was with, but I assumed it was dates with really rich dudes.
Well, you’re just one of the guys she was dating and hooking up with, probably. And you became too dopey and too obsessed, and you dried her up and she dumped you.
She’d also post stories of the places I took her, but I would never be in them.
Again. He’s decided that she’s the perfect girl, but in reality, she’s not feeling it.
And she would constantly say things about our future, but she wouldn’t follow through — for example, “I’ll take you to this great Russian restaurant!”. One day after a great weekend together, she sent me a long text out of nowhere ending things saying she didn’t see a long-term future with me.
Yeah, because you were dopey and goo gaga over, and you were not paying attention to that. You were way more into her than she was into you. You should have let her come to you at her pace. And you didn’t. You had no self-control either. That is a lack of masculinity in a woman’s eyes.
I was devastated.
Yeah, he’s just totally dopey.
But simply replied that I thought she was amazing and if her feelings changed, to let me know. And it was over, just like that. This one really hurt. I don’t take her rejection personally. I think it has more to do with her and her background and values than anything I did.
It was like, well, the values do play a role, but you got to clean up your unattractive behavior. Because if you meet a really good girl that comes from a good family, you will turn her off exactly for the same reasons. You cannot get dopey with a woman and drool all over her. You just can’t do that. This is right out of The Book. Especially you got your hands all over her and you’re not letting her come to you. So that’s just a microcosm of how you interacted with her, because you came off as needy and desperate. You’re like the horny virgin teenager on spring break trying to lose his virginity.
That’s the way you behave. That was the vibe. And she just eventually was realized that you’re way more into her than she’s into you. She wasn’t feeling it. Her feelings didn’t go anywhere because you were too dopey and soft. She knew she could push you around. She knew she was in charge, so she dipped. Because you just didn’t act masculine enough. Again, you meet a girl you really like that comes from a good family. You’re going to turn her off for exactly the same reasons that you did this mercenary.
I recognize a mistake I made was an over-communication of interest, but other than that, my game was as tight as it’s ever been.
Like, no, it wasn’t, dude.
Is this a vetting issue?
No, it’s a you issue. You can’t get sloppy and dopey like that and over communicate your interests. When you got your hands all over a girl before you’ve been invited, you’re chasing. You’re over-pursuing. That’s needy. It’s desperate. It’s neurotic behavior. It doesn’t make a woman feel safe. And it turns them off, and you dried her pussy up.
Also, in the modern dating climate, I’m curious to hear your thoughts on dealing with women like this with a ton of prospects in a place like LA, as it sadly seems like the new normal.
Bob
I would say it’s probably the women that you’re dating. I don’t know where you met her, but you need to think about if you want a family oriented girl, you got to think, where’s the family oriented girl hanging out? She’s hanging out in the places that you like to go for fun. She’s probably not going to be hanging out in the bars or in the nightclubs. You’re not going to find her on a dating app or seeking arrangement or one of these other stupid apps. You’re just going to bump into her when you’re having a great life.
Maybe you’re at dinner with some friends and she’s with her girlfriends at the table next to you, and you catch her checking you out. That’s typically how it happens. So go lose yourself in your hobbies and your interests. If you got the attitude that all women are like this, this seems like the new normal. That tells me that’s where you’re fishing. You’re fishing in a pond full of women like this. Maybe you met her on Instagram. Maybe you slid into her DMs.
I don’t know, but when you notice those kinds of red flags, you don’t just keep dating and put the hammer down and be like, “I can work with this.” It’s like, this is a fuck buddy, friends with benefits. You should have been letting her do all the calling, texting, and pursuing and then just made dates that could lead to sex at your place or hers. Mostly yours obviously. But instead you were already treating her like your wife and girlfriend, and you completely ignored any other red flags. And you also ignored the fact that she just wasn’t that into you.
And you had no idea. You had no idea until you got rejected. And to tell me that your game was as tight as it’s ever been, maybe it’s tighter than it’s ever been, but it’s pretty sloppy. You cannot do this with women in general, because when you drool all over them and you get dopey, they’re all going to get turned off for the same reason. They’ll think, “You’re a great guy, but I only think of you as a friend.” That’s the vibe you’re giving off. It’s too much.
You can let the woman come to you, but when you’re together, if you got your hands all over her, and you’re touching her before she’s ready to be touched, you’re going to turn her off, and you’re going to come off as needy and neurotic and desperate, and she’s going to lose interest and not want to be with you just like this woman did. So you got to take The Book seriously. You got to slow your roll. You can’t be dopey like this and drool all over a girl. You got to wait to be touched or bumped into, and then you reciprocate.
Again, this is all laid out in The Book. It doesn’t help when you just cherry pick things, and then you allow your neediness and your desperation to overwhelm what you know you should do based on what you learned in The Book. Because these things sting, I mean, granted, this was never going to work out for a long term relationship anyways, but it was a good learning experience. Because you meet a girl you really like and who comes from a good family and has similar goals, similar values, and you drool all over her and you behave this way, you’ll turn her off and she’ll reject you, and tell you what a great guy you are.
That, maybe you can just be friends. Or she just thinks of you as a “friend”, or she’s not “feeling it.” Or “My feelings should be different than they are, but they’re not. You’re a great guy and you deserve a girl who really likes you or is really into you.” That’s the kind of shit you’ll hear. So The Book’s only going to help you if you actually apply it properly.
So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.