Why Women Can Lose Attraction & Interest In An Instant

Coach Corey Wayne
10 min readSep 8, 2023
Photo by iStock/valentinrussanov

Common mistakes to avoid that cause women to lose romantic attraction and interest in an instant.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a 36 year old viewer who is an admitted poor student of my work. He shares how his latest rejection caused my work to really click after continuing to repeat the same mistakes that always led to him getting rejected in the past. He was dating a woman that he wasn’t that into who was all over him. Recently, he met a hot 23 year old girl who had high romantic interest, at first. He acted dopey, became too available and started cooing like a dove. Then he got the “I need to work on myself” message and she was gone. I discuss where he went wrong and how you can avoid the same mistakes most clueless guy make that leads to easily avoidable rejection. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

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Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter. And the topic of this newsletter is going to be, Why Women Can Lose Attraction And Interest In An Instant.

Well, I’ve got an email. This guy is 36 years old. He’s an admitted poor student of my work. And he says after his most recent rejection, things just seem to click. And he really kind of realized what he’s been doing wrong. And now he’s promised to do better to really learn the material, and the pain of rejection when especially when you start dating somebody you really like, and then you screw it up, especially when you’ve got a Book like mine in your hands, and yet you don’t take the time to learn it, read it, internalize it, practice it.

So, when a smoke show walks into your life, you’re prepared. Because, as Confucius said, “Success depends upon prior preparation and without said preparation, there is sure to be failure.” So, this particular guy was dating a girl he really wasn’t that into. It was closer to, actually, she was 42, attractive, accomplished. But he really didn’t care one way or another. They were just kind of friends with benefits. She tried to lock him down a few times. He just basically said, “No, I’m not down with that.”

And she was crazy about him. And then he meets this hot 23 year old and then after the first date, he just basically falls apart, becomes all dopey, and makes a lot of just stupid mistakes, which he kind of makes fun of himself in his email here.

But it’s a good email to go through, especially for guys that might be watching this, that are new to my work and make these kinds of mistakes. Because when a hot, younger girl comes along and she really digs you, and you dig her and you have a lot in common, it can really evaporate quickly if you’re constantly communicating unattractive vibe or you’re saying things that are unattractive. And like in this case, he just says he became too available.

Photo by iStock/JackF

He started acting dopey, super nice. And as soon as women get a scent or a whiff of weakness that you basically are acting like the 97 percenters, because you got to understand, especially if the girl is hot, she’s been approached and she’s been on plenty of dates, and she’s met lots of guys that have behaved this way.

And that’s why if you’re at least initially out of the gate behaving like The Book talks about, in a masculine way, and then you revert back to the beta male ways, it’s I mean, it can flip that quick because in this case, you only went out with her, I think once or twice. And just he basically talked her out of liking him just over the phone and text. So, there’s a lot of good things to avoid in here, especially for those that are somewhat new.

And it’s also because I say you got to read The Book 10 to 15 times, because you’ve got to remember you’re trying to undo a whole lifetime of unattractive behavior that we’ve all been socially conditioned to accept and think that it’s normal. And so, you’re literally all of us, we get emotionally anchored to dysfunctional ways of showing up, and being in acting, in dating, in relationships.

And if you wreck the sexual polarity, if you act like a girl, when you should be acting like a man, it doesn’t matter how attracted a woman is to you. It’s going to evaporate that quick. And especially in the beginning when you’re not emotionally bonded to her. It’s a bad, bad way to go.

Viewer’s Email:

Hey Corey,

Back story. I am writing you as a successful work in progress. I’m 36, attractive, built, construction guy. Being a poor student, I picked up Your Book every couple of years. I got dumped a year ago and decided it was enough. Started with the gym, listening to Your Books often, watching your videos and practicing with women.

Photo by iStock/skynesher

Your advice hadn’t truly clicked until my last rejection.

My success thanks to you Corey… I am currently seeing an attractive and accomplished 42 year old that I have truly not cared if she walked away because of different out looks on life. It’s been 9 months and had couple “Where is this going, and I really like you” conversations which ended with me reconfirmed we are only friends.

Obviously.

I hadn’t made any mistakes, didn’t put in any effort, except to make dates when she contacted me. We meet, she hugs, kisses, gets instantly wet and always wants to rip my clothes off.

You’ve got to treat all women the same.

Now to my rejection thanks to me… I had a gorgeous 23 year old girl come up to me at 3 years ago at the climbing gym, Covid hit we lost touch. After contacting her once a year and her being single again I had a date. I’m great on dates, women do most of the talking and at the end I was told “I want to see you again.” Received a text the next day thanking me for the date and couple days later asking me out for ice cream. Falling for her looks, getting blinded by the future, and I lost my center, so I started to be too available, texting her daily which led her to cancel our date using a lame excuse.

Phone is for setting dates. and right away because he really super likes her, he completely reverts back to exactly the way that his TV taught him to be. Which is the opposite of what creates attraction.

Giving her time, and space of 2 and half weeks she jumped at the opportunity to go out with me again.

So, it seems like he backed off finally.

Photo by iStock/Prostock-Studio

I received a text the day before and day of our date telling me how exited she was. The date was well planned and went without a hitch, so much so then she had she texted me again the next day thanking me. I messaged back with the ” it was my pleasure, I enjoyed myself too and I want to see you soon. Let me know when you are free so I can set some time aside for you.”

Yeah I know… and then the 24hr later replay came ” I’m sooooo busy check in end of next week.”

So, she seems to be going a little colder again.

With my response…”plans to make plans but I like it.”

Haha Coo Coo, Coo Coo is like, cooing like a dove. Coo Coo! You ever had a dove outside your window, and it’s just like Coo Coo in the morning. That’s what he’s doing. This dude’s sitting on a tree branch. Coo! Coo! Plans to make plans. I really like it. Coo! Thank you, Your Highness. Coo! Thank you for giving me the world.

Coo Coo! I had a guy that used to work for me, and he was trying to learn this stuff too, but he just really had a hard time with girls he really liked it goes out on one date and he’s like, God, this is the hottest girl ever.

He sends her flowers after the date and he says, “Thank you for giving me the world.” That’s what he actually wrote to her. He was so excited to have gone out with her. He acted like he won the lottery.

And of course, she friend zoned him as soon as she got the flowers and the note, I was like, Come On Man, you really sent that? He’s like, I know, man. I can still see it. That was 20 years ago. I was like, man. But he’d never been out with a girl like that. And he just, “Pew.” He just couldn’t handle it.

Photo by iStock/Hirurg

I don’t think could of make it any worse. I checked in a week later.

Remember? He told her to get in touch when she figured out her schedule, but he couldn’t wait. He just had no self control. Because deep down he didn’t feel like a girl like this could really be interested in him. So, he acts in a way that’s congruent with that. And what’s the number one most attractive thing that women love about men? It’s confidence. And when you don’t have the confidence to just wait until she gets back to you, while you’re literally going to you’re going to, “Phht” hit the eject button by accident.

I checked in a week later and her taking a day to respond, “I will connect with you next week so week can talk.”

So instead of, “Oh, I’d love to see you, I can’t wait to see you again.” It’s like, “I’ll call you next week.” Probably because she can sense he’s getting clingy, and needy and he may blow up at her because she’s been on enough dates and talked to enough guys that if she just puts a guy off for a little bit, that’s usually when they start to blow their top.

It was the dreaded “I’m need to work on myself, and it doesn’t feel right to date” talk.

That’s what the talk was that he got. It was like. In other words, it just doesn’t feel right to date you. That’s what she’s really communicating. Because he talked her out of it. Going from being super excited. Her texted him just like “Snap” it’s just like that “Snap” you’re out, buddy.

After saying I understand and asking about the positive about her weekend, I told her to reach out if she changes her mind. Now no contact and moving on.

Treat them all the same with indifference and results will come boys!

Photo by iStock/urbazon

Well, it helps if you actually apply what’s in The Book, and not the opposite of it. You don’t want to drool all over your dates and go, “Thank you for giving me the world.” “I only think of you as a friend.” “Ugh.”

The quantity and quality of women has only been getting better so I’m not worried if she doesn’t ever get back to me.

Well, it’s when you get stung like this, it’s like, finally you go, “You know, the way I’ve been showing up is not ideal.” But that’s typically what happens with most guys when they start interacting with women that to them or their dream woman or women that are out of their league, they literally act like, “I’m not worthy. Oh my God, I can’t believe you’re paying attention to me.” And she’s like, “Ehh.” You’re supposed to be more masculine than she is, bro.

Thanks for all your help and advice. I try to spread your message of the 3% Man and have bought extra Books to pass along. As I can say, it works.

It works when you apply it, not when you do the opposite.

Your great full student!

Bob

So well, Bob says he’s fully in, so maybe down the road he will send us a great success story of how when he meets a woman like this, the next time around it goes the complete opposite and goes well for him.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.

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Coach Corey Wayne

Life & Peak Performance Coach. I Teach Self-Reliance. Subscribe To My Newsletter To Read My eBooks “3% Man” & “Mastering Yourself” Free: http://bit.ly/CCWeBooks