Why Liking Her More Than She Likes You Leads To Loss Of Respect, Interest & Rejection

Coach Corey Wayne
27 min readFeb 20, 2024
Photo by iStock/CHUNYIP WONG

Why letting women know you like them more than they like you leads to loss of respect, interest and rejection.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a coaching client who has done two phone sessions in the past year with me about a woman he really wants as his girlfriend. He has a problem of over-pursuing and acting dopey with women he really likes.

He shares a very detailed series of events where he over pursued, acted weak, double texted and did the opposite of what he said he would do and unfortunately he chased her right out of his life once again. Reality is now setting in on him and how his failure to be disciplined and exercise emotional self control has led to this most recent rejection. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

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This particular email is from a guy that I’ve done a couple phone sessions with over the last six months. This guy is a little bit older. If I remember right, I think he’s closer to my age, and he’s dating a girl that is much younger than him. We had a phone session again recently in the past week. So he gives a really detailed play by play of what happened here.

His big problem is that he does the same things that obviously, for those of you that are familiar with 3% Man, he does the same things that I used to do, which is, in essence, he starts to over-pursue, he pedestalizes his women and he chases him right out of his life. There’s several instances here where he just wasn’t disciplined. He’s double texting, he didn’t exercise self control. What you notice is, because there was also one point where he tells her, “Well, give me a call when you figure out your schedule.” Then three whole days go by and then he reaches out trying to set a date. So he just didn’t have as the late, great Richard Marcinko would have said, “Testicular fortitude to hold out.”

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So you’ll notice, as he continues to over-pursue, reach out and not give her space and not slow his roll, refusing to exercise self control towards the last few exchanges, you can tell she’s just kind of snotty and bitchy and she takes like 24 hours to reply. You can tell he’s just absolutely devastated, and I totally get where this guy is at. I feel tremendous compassion for him.

We had a long discussion about this. I went through several situations that I went through when I was learning this stuff and how painful it was, how agonizing and how long it went on. This is just something that every man has to overcome. We have two primary fears: Fear that we’re not enough. In other words, we don’t have what it takes, or fear that we won’t be loved. In this case, he’s got a little bit of both of those going on here. Deep down, he doesn’t feel like he measures up. He fears that the girl that he really loves is not going to love him back, because for whatever happened in his childhood, that’s his reality filter.

So he comes from the perspective of he presupposes it’s not going to work out. When you have feminine women, the number one strength characteristic they find most attractive is confidence. Then everything you do, everything you say, the vibe you give off is constantly basically saying, “I don’t believe that I’m worthy of being with you and you’re too good for me. Eventually when you find out what I’m really like, you’re going to blow me off and not want to be with me anymore,” and you give off that vibe enough.

Especially, like in this case, where this guy does things that communicate that he tells her to get in touch, and then he doesn’t wait for her to get in touch. You can tell her attitude towards him just starts to deteriorate and she doesn’t respect him. Women will never love a man they can’t respect. If you don’t have the balls to let her be, if you can’t love in such a way that the person you love feels free, then eventually you’re going to get friend-zoned or you’re going to get ghosted. It’s a real good cautionary tale.

Anybody that’s listening or watching this, you’re going to see in real time a guy that’s just going through the absolute worst emotional pain a man can go through, the pain of rejection and the pain of potentially losing the kind of woman that knocks your socks off that, like I’ve said many times, I’ve found in my life, they come around, you get one to three of those a decade where just everything clicks and you feel like the universe is lined everything up. She’s easygoing, easy to get along with. You have so much in common. Then when you realize that you chase somebody like that out of your life, then you think about the thought that, “Man, it might be five years, four years, it could be seven years, it might be a whole decade maybe before I meet somebody that I really click with.” Like on this particular level. That’s not a pleasant thought to deal with, especially as you’re getting older.

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You think time’s running out. Hell, I was in my early 20s. I was like, time’s running out for me. That’s what it feels like. When you come from a place of fear which you fear, you end up attracting. In this case, he feared losing this girl and driving her away. He did exactly that. So he’s really stinging, but he really does a good job of laying it out, laying out the detail and even some of his thought processes because even in the bottom paragraph, he knows that I’m going to read this because he told me he was going to send this in. After we did our phone session, I said I’d be happy to answer it in a newsletter. People are going to be like, “Dude, why didn’t you just not call her when you said, get back in touch?” It was multiple times he did that.

So he kind of goes through his thought process, and obviously he was overcome by his emotions and his fears, what I refer to in 3% Man as the Illusion Of Action. What’s interesting about attraction and how it works with women is it’s your inaction, your indifference, your mysteriousness and your unpredictability. When you just don’t do anything, because dating is like tennis. You hit the ball over the net. You got to wait for the other person to hit it back. In this case, he’s not waiting for her to hit it back. Therefore, it has the opposite effect that you want, which is instead of her becoming more interested in falling in love and wanting to be exclusive, it just keeps her in the zone of like a casual hookup. Friends with benefits.

You’ll see at the end here she takes 24 hours to even respond. That’s just basically her being nice. If you go beyond 24 hours, that’s kind of rude. That just communicates the other person that you’re really not that important to him. Unfortunately, that’s kind of where he’s at.

I know he doesn’t like to hear that, but we discuss this at length and the phone call because my job as a coach is to help get these guys to the place where they can kind of punch through that wall of fear, because it’s almost like a game of chicken. I wrote about this a lot in the book. It’s learning how to balance pursuing too much versus pursuing. Not enough finding the sweet spot. Unfortunately, he hasn’t found the sweet spot yet because he’s still becomes emotionally hijacked by his irrational fears and his emotions.

Again, this is something that every guy has to deal with. The better the quality of the woman, the hotter she gets, the more she has the personality that you like, the more she’s accomplished things in her life. Maybe she comes from a good family. Maybe she’s smart. She went to school, she got a good college degree. She’s very super intelligent, high IQ woman, holds down a good job and she’s educated. If you spew some bullshit to her, she’s going to push back.

So you get some verbal jousting. You get real mental stimulation from a really good, high quality woman. When they come along and you click like that, you don’t want to lose them. Unfortunately, it’s the pain of losing women like this that ultimately causes us to go, “That hurts so bad, that hurts so much. It hurt for so long that I’m never going to fucking do that again.”

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Viewer’s Email:

Dear Coach,

We had a phone session Wednesday 02/07. After lots of prayer and introspection, I realized what my ROLE was with Jessica. I was just fun and sex to her.

Well, all relationships start out as casual hanging out, having fun, hooking up. That’s why I came up with the formula for you guys, because that’s really what men need to focus on, is creating the next opportunity for sex to happen. When you do that over and over, carefully, methodically, slowly, ideally slightly slower than she is, it gives her time and space away from you to wonder about you, to think about you, to miss you, to feel your strength, to feel your mysteriousness, to feel your unpredictability, and to feel your inaction.

Guys that don’t feel like they’re worthy over-pursue, over-chase, and then they don’t know where they stand. The guy that’s not calling, the guy that’s not jumping through their butt or begging the girl to spend time with them, then she starts to wonder more about that guy and feel feelings because in other words, he’s calm. He’s OK without her being in his life. Then she wonders like, “Why is he OK with that? Does he not care? Does he miss me?”

Even though women disagree, a lot of times when you ask him about this stuff, what makes them really feel strong attraction is space. That’s why you take measured steps that are in the book, so you create enough time and space and distance for her to slowly fall in love at her pace. Then the relationship boyfriend/girlfriend/getting married, if that’s ultimately what you want, that all becomes her idea. If a woman is chasing you and pursuing you, she’s not dumping you. She’s not getting rid of you. She’s not blowing you off. That’s just a fact of life.

Women don’t dump men they’re in love with. They dump men they lost respect and romantic attraction for. That’s the bottom line. No amount of red pill platitudes is going to go against what actual biology is. If you act like a bitch, women are going to treat you like a bitch. Unfortunately, this guy started acting like a bitch too much. You can tell by the end of the email it’s like, she’s starting to be bitchy to him. So if you act like a bitch, women will be bitchy towards you. So it’s important to pay attention to that. It’s also important to check a woman when she crosses a line and is being disrespectful to you.

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It could have been more, but I texted my desire to be BGE (BF/GF/Exclusive) back on 11/02 after three and a half months of dating.

So he’s bringing up boyfriend/girlfriend/being exclusive, because to him he’s like, “Hey, we’ve been dating for three and a half months. I read the book.” This guy read the book 30 times, by the way. Despite that, he wasn’t able to exercise self control. He read the book 30 times and yet he still asking her to be exclusive. So why would he do that? Because he could feel that she wasn’t that into him, because he kept over-pursuing.

It’s like one of the things that the late, great Doc Love used to say is that a “Beautiful woman to the average guy is like Kryptonite. She has the power to make the dude fall apart.” Unfortunately, that’s what happens to most guys when they get with their dream woman or a woman that knocks her socks off. They can’t help but fall over them all over themselves, drooling and trying to kiss her ass and be extra nice to her.

That’s what you see in TV, in the movies all the time. You do that in real life, it absolutely is disgusting to a woman and totally turns her off and causes her to lose respect because you act so soft.

So he asks her on November 2nd, after three and a half months of dating, to be exclusive. Of course, she’s not in the same place because again, he’s focused on his interests and projecting it onto her. Despite the fact he read the book 30 times, he’s ignoring the fact that she wasn’t in the same place. This also shows that you could read the book 30 times, but if you don’t really practice it, then first time you get into a relationship or you start dating a girl like this where he cared this much, he didn’t have enough experience, he couldn’t exercise self control, he had no other options.

So he fumbled the ball. He fell all over himself because again, repetition is the mother of skill. He didn’t do any practice repetitions. Of course, a woman that takes his breath away comes into his life and he totally fumbles the football because he never did anything to prepare ahead of time. It’s great that you read the book 30 times, but the idea is you’re reading it and you’re practicing it every day of the week, going out on dates, trying to seduce women, things of that thing. You don’t wait to practice all of it until you meet a girl you really like. This is typically what will happen.

That scared her away. After no contact and clearly stating I’m not interested in friendship…

Because she tried to friend-zone him right after that. It just shows you how low her interest was. He’s asking for exclusivity and she’s like, “Yeah, I’m not into exclusivity. How about blue balls and friendship?” And he said, “Yeah, I’m not interested in that.”

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…She came back two weeks later (11/28)…

This is November 28th, 2023.

…For dinner and tapping at my house.

So he gave her the meat missile. He’s like, “All right, things are progressing.” He gave her some space. He let her come to him. When a woman has tried to friend-zone you and push you away, as it discusses in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back, the article and video I did, you never call, you never text again for any reason. The only time in the future that you should start reaching out to her is if she starts complaining about it multiple times that you never reach out, and you can’t just use humor and defuse it and tease it away. If she’s adamant about it and she brings it up numerous times, maybe once a week here and there, you can call her or you text her, you just surprise her.

All she’s really saying when she complains that you never call is she’s just saying, “Hey, make more of an effort to make me feel like you care, because right now you’re not doing enough.” It doesn’t mean you do all the pursuing. It just means maybe once a week you add a little bit of that in there, add a one extra phone call, one extra text, whatever it happens to be, one form of initiated contact extra, and she’ll notice that and she’ll appreciate that.

Other than that, in this case, if she’s pushed you away like she did in this case and tried to friend-zone you, his pursuit is over forever, she fucked it up. She tried to friend-zone him. She tried to end things. Therefore, she’s got to fix it. That’s why she has to do all the pursuing, because he pursued to the point where she didn’t want to be with him intimately anymore and said, “Hey, how about friendship and blue balls?” He’s like, “No thanks,” and she’s like, “OK.”

She walked away and after two weeks of not hearing from him, she’s like, “I haven’t heard from him.” His inaction is attractive and she doesn’t know why, but she gets in touch. Her attitude is different because again, she’s reaching out to him. This time he makes a date to hang out, have fun, hook up.

We then had several passionate dates between 11/28–01/01, capped off by the three night Solvang weekend…

I think he said they went to Slovakia or something like that.

…From Jan. 13–16th. Those three days were filled with sleeping at her house (The first time I’d been to her house since 11/02), road-tripping to Solvang…

I can’t remember if it was Europe or not. I talked to so many people. It’s hard to keep all the stories straight. Solvang… Maybe you guys can fact check in the comments and put down there for people that don’t know where that actually is.

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…Staying at a Jacuzzi suite two nights, lots of sex, hand-holding, adventures and laughter.

If I’d have held off completely after that weekend together and let her wonder about me/miss me, me thinks she would have reached out after a couple weeks…

Sounds like he may be a Jar Jar Binks fan. A lot of people either love Jar Jar Binks from the new Star Wars that Lucas did, or they absolutely hate his character and think he’s worthless. But Jar Jar Binks I thought was pretty funny. “Me thinks.”

…But instead I texted her a couple trip photos the next night (01/17)…

So he’s not hearing from her and he can’t take it. So he starts sending her pictures. This is the Illusion Of Action speak. “Oh, I got to get her to like me more. I got to get her attention. I haven’t heard from her in a few days, and we just had all this great sex. What if she doesn’t like me anymore? What if I never hear from her again?” This is the tape that is going on in his head, despite the fact he’s read the book 30 times and he knows he’s not supposed to do this, he’s doing it anyways, and he will do it again and again. You’ll notice her responses just get shorter and shorter.

…To which she said those are great and thanked me for the fun weekend. I said, “It was awesome,” and then double texted two hours later, saying. “I look forward to our next fun date.” She didn’t respond.

Again, it’s her job to do 100% of the calling, texting and pursuing. So what’s going on here? He goes right back to the behavior that got him friend-zoned, which is over-pursuing, over-texting, “Hey, here’s pictures. Here’s this.” That’s just smothering her. So instead of waiting, he holds out for about nine days and then reaches out again. Again, she blew him off, friend-zoned him. She’s got to do all the pursuing. It’s got to be her idea, but he got a little bit of the taste. They spent a bunch of time together, and he went right back to the same exact behavior that got him rejected the first time, or the first several times.

Nine days later, I texted her good morning and a couple more photos of our trip.

Remember, the phone is for setting dates. Again, you’re not supposed to be reaching out. You’re doing the opposite of what I teach. This is where a failure to exercise discipline and self control just wrecks things for you. It makes you look like a bitch. It makes you look like an absolutely insecure, needy little boy instead of a man who’s mysterious, exciting and masculine, a guy she can look up to and admire and respect. Despite the fact this guy is much older than her, he’s acting like a teenage boy that’s trying to lose his virginity on spring break. So she’s so excited about this guy. What does she do next after he’s drooling all over her pictures? He hasn’t heard from her in nine days.

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She waited 24 hours to say thank you again for the adventure and good morning.

Does that sound like, “I miss you. I can’t wait to see you?” No, it’s just very blah blah. Maybe she’s sleeping with some other guy.

When you behave this way, the male orbiters get more attention because she’s decided, “I can have this dude, he’s wrapped around my finger. I can have him any time I want,” and she’s not feeling it. Probably there’s another guy in the picture at this point.

24 hours later I texted, “Sorry, I’m busy on a biz trip in Vegas. Keep in touch.”

None of this stuff is necessary.

She texted a day later, “Looks like fun.”

Three whole words 24 hours later. She really “misses him,” but he ignores that and he’s like, “I got a chance.”

I immediately asked how her weekend was.

The phone is for setting dates. “How was your weekend, Your Highness? Can I drool on you some more?”

I know, I’m breaking his balls. He’s like, “Go easy,” but you know this is going to help him in the long run because it’s this pain that’s going to make him go, “I can’t behave this way anymore.” If he doesn’t get it right with this girl, the next girl that he meets that he really likes, if he doesn’t correct this behavior, he’ll chase her away for the same exact reasons.”

She didn’t respond. So the next morning I said, “Let’s meet this weekend (02/02–02/03) when I’m back.” She responded 24 hours later…

He’s still ignoring the fact that she sent in three word replies and waiting a whole day to respond. He’s just, “Please, Your Highness, please spend time with me. Please, mommy, give me an atta-boy.”

…That she was busy with family and hoped I had fun in Vegas.

“All busy with family. I hope you have fun in Vegas.” That’s like, “Fuck off, I don’t care about you. My pussy is so dry right now, and there’s so many cob webs in there that you could get a truckload of K-Y jelly, and it’s just not going to help.”

I waited until the next morning, (Friday 02/02), texting…

Notice these texts in a real long response here.

Photo by iStock/Mariia Vitkovska

“…Have quality time with family and let me know when you’re free next.”

So he hits the ball over the net, says, “Hey, let me know when your schedule frees up,” basically. What did she do?

She didn’t respond. Three days later (Monday 02/05)…

He can’t handle it. He can’t handle the silence. He’s coming unglued. This is his Kryptonite, and so on.

…In a moment of total weakness, I called, left a message to call back, then texted her how I’d love to take her out for a nice dinner.

Dude, she knows you like her. She knows you want to date her. This is a girl that blew you off and you’re begging her to spend time with you. You got to fucking stop this. You have to recognize this is not working. You’re just digging a hole deeper and deeper.

I think I use the analogy, it’s like you’re stuck in the sand, and instead of getting out and put some wood and things in there to try to get some traction, you’re just get gunning it with gas and the car’s just going and just sinking until it’s totally stuck and not going anywhere.

She texted that unfortunately this week was pretty busy with Bible study Monday, family dinner Wednesday, working til 7 p.m. on Tuesday/Thursday and leaving Friday to see her friend in Arizona, to which I responded, “Understandable…”

So she’s basically saying “Bro, Monday’s out, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, I am not available. Don’t ask me again.” That’s basically what she’s saying. “Fuck off. I got no time for you.”

…Then again an hour later, “Let me know if you change your mind…”

Now she’s like, “Bruh, you are being a fucking bitch.” Come on, seriously.

She didn’t say that, but she might as well. I’m saying that because I want this guy to go, “Ah, I don’t want to behave this way anymore.” That’s why I’m associating pain and uncomfortable things with it.

There is a method to my madness. I learned from the best. I learned from the best coach in the world. That would be Mr. Tony Robbins. So when you understand that, when you understand how psychology works and pain and pleasure, you can use it to influence people, whether it’s in a phone session or people just watching your videos, and they have no idea that as they’re listening, you’re helping to rewire their brain to think a different way, to think in terms of the right way to go about things. So you’re helping them even though they don’t know they’re being helped.

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So she’s clearly irritated, clearly bitchy, and she’s just like, “Oh, this guy doesn’t get it.” She didn’t say that, but she might as well with her response. So remember, he says, let me know if you change your mind.”

…To which she says, “Change my mind about dinner with grandma and my Bible study? That’s probably not going to happen.” To which I said…

Now he’s backpedaling. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. Your Highness, please don’t be mad at me.”

“…I meant Tuesday or Thursday.“ She says, “I think 7 p.m. is too late to start anything after a long day of work.”

She’s just basically going, “Fuck you, bro, you’re a bitch. I don’t want to see you. You disgust me. It’s so pathetic the way you’re acting.” I know it hurts to hear it, but you need to hear it bro, because there will be other guys who will be watching and go, “OK, I get it. I’m not going to do this. I’m going to change my behavior,” and it’ll prevent disaster for them.

So whether you realize it or not, you’re helping a lot of dudes with this. So I appreciate you being vulnerable and sharing this with the class.

To which I responded 12 hours later, “No worries. I love how you are so family focused. Have fun with them and with your friend this weekend. Seems like you’ve got a lot going on right now. Sending hugs. (heart).” To which she didn’t respond. YUCK.

Yeah, yuck. It’s gross.

I was so blinded by my feelings for her that I didn’t fully realize my role and how I could turn it into something serious eventually…

Well, you don’t turn anything into anything serious. The girl does that. You’re still thinking the wrong way, dude. You’re still thinking this is your job to do. You’re still thinking like a chick. You watch too many movies and TV shows written by fucking betas.

…If I could just hang back and let her take things at her own pace.

I’m worried that this second time of scaring her away was a mistake and drove her away for good or at the least a long time before she trusts me again.

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Well, obviously it’s going to be a long time because you held out a whole nine days and you couldn’t take it anymore. You have to let her do 100% of the calling, texting and pursuing. I reiterated this over and over on both of the phone sessions. Since our phone session last week, hopefully he’s got the message.

Corey, you’re the ONLY ONE I trust on advice about this as you are positive/encouraging, whereas my buddies just say she’s a bitch, player, “Why in the world do I care about that b**ch so much,” etc.

That’s kind of like, what the red pill cope guys say. “It’s not the guy’s fault.”

You’re the man. You have the penis. If you don’t like it, get a sex change, I don’t care. It is a man’s job to handle everything. If shit’s fucked up in your life or your relationship and your family, congratulations, that is the result of your best thinking.

You did that. You invited her into your life. You put the fucking ring on her finger. You got married in a blue state. You get fucked over. That’s on you. Be a fucking man and admit you fucked up. Don’t go, “Oh, modern women! Corey you don’t understand.”

On our last text exchange 02/05–02/06, I felt some alarming negativity and lack of interest in making time for me…

Yeah, he went into panic mode. Super scared. Super afraid. So the Illusion Of Action gets even more overwhelming.

…For the first time since 11/02, like she suddenly wanted nothing to do with me.

That was a pretty accurate assessment. She really did. From her words and her actions, she’s like, “Leave me the fuck alone.”

Like why is 7 p.m. suddenly too late to get together when on 01/13 I went to her house at 9 p.m.??

Because he’s just being a bitch and she doesn’t respect you. That’s why. Because she’s disgusted by your behavior. She’s disgusted by the fact that you have consistently demonstrated over and over again that you can’t hold out, you can’t send a message and just wait for her to reply. If you don’t hear from her soon enough, you freak out about it, and you start double and triple texting her and trying to drool all over her and tell her how much you like her. As if women give a shit about how much you care about them. They don’t. They only care about how they feel about you. That’s the harsh reality.

The most important thing to a woman is how she feels about you. That’s just a fact of life. Especially on Instagram when you see those reels that are like, “Oh, it’s 50/50 Corey.” Whatever. If I talk to those girls, I ask them a few questions about guys they actually date and fall in love with, you’ll find out that they do none of the things they claim to say they’re wanting, because women don’t even understand how attraction works. They don’t even understand themselves.

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I’ve gone through the depths of despair the last two weeks. We always had such amazing sex and fun dates when together.

Well, yeah, it was a couple of months ago, bro.

I cry out inside my heart in anguish for f**king it up… She was a perfect match for me. 30, unvaccinated, Christian, blonde, light eyes, willing/able to start a family. She truly was special.

Get her off the pedestal. You don’t really know that. You didn’t date her enough. You weren’t in a relationship with her. It’s like you really didn’t know what you didn’t know, but you did project your fantasy and you just said, “Hey, she wins. She won the race. That’s the only one for me.” Instead of letting her win you over, you were trying to beg her to be your mommy. It’s not good.

I’m super picky about what I want and she was pretty damned close to it.

Well, you don’t really know what you don’t know. You didn’t date her long enough. Here’s where he’s speaking to you guys, and maybe you can respond to him in the comments, and be gentle. You don’t have to be a dick. The guy’s really fucking hurting.

I know many guys might comment on this video, “What was I thinking? Why’d you force things? Why double text? Why’d you say, ‘Let me know when you’re free,’” then three days later call and try to ask her out again? I also feel confused why I did such things despite listening to your audio-book 30 times.

I’ll tell you why, because you didn’t practice with enough other women. Number two, you chose to not exercise self control. You chose to ignore what the book said. You allowed yourself to become emotionally hijacked by your irrational fears.

This is what happens if you had dated enough other women, this would have happened enough times with enough girls that you really didn’t care that about to where you could have built up your testicular fortitude and your emotional self control, but hey, it is what it is. You’re here. Maybe this one will be the most painful one, and you’ll finally get over it, and you’ll never do this shit again with another woman. Maybe she comes back. Maybe not. I flip a coin, it could go either way. Those are the odds.

A huge powerful force inside me OVERRODE all my preparation/ knowledge from your book. Why why why, oh Lord did I do these things? I feel so depressed & demoralized.

Well, you didn’t have enough success. You didn’t have enough preparation with other women. When one at least to you, which was your ideal dream girl, when she shows up in your life, she was your kryptonite and you couldn’t handle it. You knew what to do, but you did it anyways because you were so driven by fear.

Photo by iStock/FG Trade

Remember, what you fear, you attract. You feared losing her, you over-pursued, and it looks like you may have lost her potentially for good. She might come back. When this happens, this is like what we’re talking about on our phone sessions is like, this happened to me enough in my teenage years, in my early 20s, where I finally was just like after the last time I was like, “That’s it. You’re in or you’re out. You either want to go out and date me or you don’t.” I never, ever again after that would stick around and wait for something that wasn’t going anywhere. I was able to turn and burn much quicker and things got a lot better.

You gave this girl way too much credit way too much too soon, you put her on a pedestal, you projected your fantasy onto her and you completely ignored the reality. Remember, we make our decisions based upon our emotions, so you’re totally emotionally hijacked, and then you use logic and reason. Whatever those reasons were, why you should reach out, why you should call, why you should text, and why you should do the opposite of what the book said and what I told you to do in our previous phone sessions, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink. It’s up to you.

Thank you again Coach Corey. I spent way more money than I can afford, talking to you first on 11/28, then again last week 02/07, but it was worth it! You related similar stories of angst and despair that you went through when you were still learning. You’ve been so helpful to me. And I wish I could afford to talk to you every week! You are the Godfather of men’s relationship advice. Much love & God bless.

Well, I am a life coach, by the way. I’m not a relationship coach. I’m not a dating coach. I am a life coach. I teach self-reliance. That’s why I also talk about politics and guns and other things, which always makes people on the left go absolutely berserk. I don’t fucking care if a bunch of pussies get upset because I’m well armed and I’m fast and I’m lethal, and I’ve trained with one of the best trainers and all the whole southeastern United States for many, many years.

To me, it’s a duty as a man, all the women, all the children and even the animals that are around you are under your protection. If anything happens to any of them when they’re around you, it’s your fucking fault. So man the fuck up. Take personal responsibility for your life and everyone and everything that is in it because you did it. You can’t blame it on other modern women or society or this or that, doesn’t matter. Nobody cares. It’s all on you.

As the late, great Don Shula, who has more wins in the NFL than any other coach in NFL history, who knew about winning, he was the best at it. He might not have as many Super Bowl rings as Bill Belichick, but he won more than Bill Belichick. That’s a fact of life. He has the only undefeated Super Bowl team in NFL history, said, “Strong men blame themselves. Weak men blame others.” That’s just a fact of life. We take personal responsibility for everything right now.

P.S., Go easy on me! In a difficult spot right now. Thanks!


Photo by iStock/Yaroslav Olieinikov

Again, thanks for being vulnerable and sharing this because it’s going to help a lot of guys and girls that are going to see this.

At the end of the day, you got to do better. You must let women come to you at their pace. In this case, your pursuit of this girl is over forever. You have to let her do 100% of it. I went over that over and over again on our phone calls. I’m telling you again, you have to recognize that you’re pursuing is counterproductive. It’s got to be her idea. You let her come back. She started to come back, and then you couldn’t control it. You just went right after her again, and you chased her away for the third or the fourth time, however many times it had been at that point. So will she come back, flip a coin? It could go either way.

If you’re in a similar situation and you like my help, maybe you got friends, family, giving you advice, it’s bullshit, or it’s not really helpful or whatever, and you want to get an opinion of somebody that’s been doing this shit for 20 years and is actually competent at it, and actually helps people save their marriages, keep their families together, keep their relationships together to get the girl that they’ve always wanted and not give you excuses to blame other people, because there’s plenty of that bullshit going on in the red pill community. Here at UnderstandingRelationships.com, Coach Corey Wayne, we’re all about figuring out what we fucked up, taking corrective action so it never fucking happens again.

If you want to cry about women or the way they are, biology doesn’t give a fuck. You either treat women properly or you’re going to get treated like a bitch and walked all over. On top of that, you will get women being bitchy to you just like they were to this particular guy. So if you’d like to get my help personally, yes, I’m brutally honest, but that’s what people pay me for because there’s plenty of people that are going to be in your life going, “Oh, do your best. It’s great if it’s meant to be. Just be yourself,” all other kinds of unhelpful bullshit, I’ll give you a solutions that really work, and it will put you in the best possible chance to get what you want in life. Either you get her back or you’re going to get somebody better. That’s just the way it works.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.



Coach Corey Wayne

Life & Peak Performance Coach. I Teach Self-Reliance. Subscribe To My Newsletter To Read My eBooks “3% Man” & “Mastering Yourself” Free: http://bit.ly/CCWeBooks