Toxic Masculinity & Healthy Masculinity
The difference between healthy masculinity and toxic masculinity.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss two different emails from two different viewers. The first email is from a viewer who was with his girlfriend when he came across an example of a guy displaying toxic masculinity and berating his girlfriend in public. He made an observation on why women put up with this behavior, as well as why guys put up with this kind of abuse from women.
The second email is a success story from a guy who started following my work about a year ago. He was 150 pounds overweight, weak, a pleaser to his wife and they hadn’t had sex in over four years. After reading my book, How To Be A 3% Man, over twenty times, they are both trim and are like teenagers in love for the first time, and their sex life is amazing. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the bodies of their emails.
*Disclosure: This article contains affiliate links. An affiliate link means I may earn referral fees if you make a purchase through my link, without any extra cost to you. Thank you for your support.
We hear a lot in the news and the media, especially these morons on TV that are always talking about toxic masculinity. And so, I’ve got two emails from two different guys. The first email is from a guy who was in he process of checking out a rental car when he witnessed another guy in line that just absolutely berating his girlfriend. He also made an observation of why men put up with that kind of toxic behavior from women as well.
The second one is a really good success story from a guy who had been married for several years, has got kids with his wife, and they hadn’t had sex in four years. He was 150 lbs. overweight. And so, after reading my first book, How To Be A 3% Man, he lost 150 lbs., their sex life returned, and they’re like teenagers in love for the first time again. He’s also teaching this stuff to his children, so they can be balanced and have a balanced sexual polarity.
It’s an interesting topic, because it’s in the news all the time. You’ve always got people talking about “toxic masculinity” as if masculinity it’s a bad thing. The world must have masculinity, and men and women both have masculine and energies. It just depends on which one is dominant. Everybody in society understands what alpha and beta is. We know it when we see it. We know masculinity when we see it. We know weakness when we see it. It’s obvious, and to pretend that it doesn’t exist, it’s usually some weak-ass bitch that doesn’t like to hear the truth. I’m here to help real men and real women reach their full potential. Anybody else that’s too weak, they can go on down the road. We don’t need it. They’re not helping the community, they’re not helping the world.
First Viewer’s Email:
I had a little epiphany around your material the other day. I was in a rental car line in Orlando heading over to Cocoa Beach for first USAF Thunderbird Air Show in 2021, (finally!).
I know. Shit needs to get back to normal. Enough of these tyrannical lockdowns. Man, it’s going to be interesting in the next year or two when the backlash comes from all of this — when people recognize that everything our “leaders” did, and it shows how incompetent and stupid they were. I’m looking forward to that, because lots of people are going to get served some humble pie.
There was a young couple in line with us, and when they got to the counter mayhem broke out. Apparently, she had made the reservation at the wrong location, thought she had prepaid it, (which she hadn’t), and it was going to cost them dearly to get a rental car for a week. Then her CC was denied. The guy went nuts on her, calling her all kinds of names — all in public view.
This is “toxic masculinity.” The reality is, the man, if he had been a real man, he would’ve handled it. He was acting like a beta male. Real men don’t lose their shit. Real men don’t expect their girlfriends or their wives to run the household. They handle things. So, the only person he should be mad at is himself for his lack of leadership.
My chill little spinner, (102 lbs soaking wet), watched all of this and wondered, “Why does she put up with that behavior?” Which got me to thinking. She puts up with it because she perceives him to be strong, even if he’s abusing her.
It’s true. That’s why women stay with jealous and insecure guys — I wrote about this in How To Be A 3% Man — because they give off the perception that they’re really masculine and strong initially. Even though the guy’s toxic, he’s acting masculine in a lot of ways, and this helps make her feel safe even though she gets berated by him. I didn’t say it was healthy. Because as you all know, no drama allowed. It should be a way of life for everybody. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of people in this world that put up with it.
The epiphany was, “Women will put up with a lot of crap and even abusive behavior to be with a man they perceive as strong.”
I totally agree with that, and it’s spot on.
Shouldn’t be a surprise; the corollary for guys is we’ll put up with a lot of crap if she’s smokin’ hot and good in bed.
Very true. So would that be toxic femininity? You don’t hear that term. I wonder why. Because they have to weaken the strongest in our society. And by the way, when they want to ban the AR15, here’s the interesting stat about rifles. They say, “It’s an epidemic.” Well, most gun violence is pistols. It’s gang violence in cities, the inner cities, usually. All of them, if you look at the numbers, are Democratic controlled and have been Democratic controlled for decades. Obviously, their policies ain’t working. But when you look at the stats, most gun deaths are gang violence and suicides.
How many people a year die from rifles? Not just the scary AR15, the “assault rifle,” as the Leftists and the media like to call it, but all rifles combined. Typically, it averages somewhere around three hundred people a year. In a country of over three hundred million, where a hundred million Americans are armed to the teeth, most of them having an AR15 of some style, yet we only have about three hundred people a year being killed by all rifles combined. It’s not an epidemic.
There’s only one reason why politicians want to ban the AR15. Here’s the interesting thing about America. Americans are the equals of their government. Period. That’s why we have military style weapons. We are the equals of the government. They are our clerks, they work for us. And the reality is, there’s only one reason whey they want to ban that particular rifle. It’s because they’re afraid that when they do what they really want to do to the American people, the American people will turn their AR15s on them.
And that’s exactly why it’s written into the Second Amendment. It’s a last resort as a hedge against and to protect ourselves against a government that has become tyrannical. So, any time any of these idiots talk about, “We’ve got to ban these AR15s,” they’re lying. Over about two thousand people die from constipation. So, more people die from constipation than all rifles combined. What does that tell you? Is there a national emergency to end constipation? Nope.
Anyway, that was my little rant for the day. I’m sure with that particular subject people will get butt hurt, but facts are facts. Data is data. The truth is the truth. Look at history, whether it was Nazi Germany, or Stalin’s Russia, or China, one of the first things tyrants always do is take away the guns from the people and say, “You’re going to be safer.” The only thing it has to do with is tyranny. No matter what they say, the numbers do not back up the “epidemic,” this “national emergency.” Because it’s all bullshit.
Second Viewer’s Email:
Roughly 1 year ago I was 150lbs heavier, depressed, and a complete pussy with overwhelming social anxiety who lived to please his wife.
Not a good way to go, my man.
I was that guy at the mall who followed his woman around like a beat dog. No surprise that my wife was equally miserable and overweight due to my complete lack of masculinity and leadership, and we were nearing a 4-year sex dry spell.
Wow, that sounds fun. It’s like, why even be married? You’re roommates at that point. But good for you for having the balls to say, “You know what, what I’m doing’s not working. I need to figure out what I need to do right,” and having the guts to change — having the guts to read a book like mine, and implement it in your life.
To keep this story short, I listened to your book on audible somewhere around 20 times in 3 1/2 months, (I lost count), and ingrained it into my soul.
I say it all the time, the best success stories come from the students that learn the information backwards and forwards, that read it 10–15 times. When I do phone sessions with guys that have been following me for four or five years, I hear all the time, “Yeah, I’ve read it once or twice, and that was a couple of years ago when the relationship started.” And then they go back through when there’s problems, or they get dumped, or there’s a breakup, or she needed space, and they recognize, “Well, I didn’t learn all this other stuff and I didn’t listen. You’re right, I should have listened to you.” It is what it is, but this is why this guy has such a great success story.
And now, 1 year later, My wife and I are trim, laugh often, and are fucking like newlywed rabbits.
That is awesome, bro. I’m so proud of you.
I’ve discovered that my wife is incredibly feminine now that I am centered, and my management of her attraction level is textbook.
You are the leader of your household. This is healthy masculinity. Healthy masculinity enables femininity to blossom, to feel safe enough to blossom and let her man be the leader, because he’s demonstrated that he’s competent at being a leader.
The instruction from your book that woman are like cats really clicked for me and played a huge part in what I was doing wrong in the relationship.
Control is the worst thing you can do around women. Trying to control a woman, especially a free spirited woman, is always going to blow up in your face.
One of the best parts of all this? My 2 teenage sons and my 10-year old son now have a centered masculine father to observe and learn from.
Amen to that, brother. We need a lot more guys like you in the world. We need more of you guys to put these fucking betas in their place.
Finally, I started an online business that is doing well and is helping to fund my long-term purpose of creating generational wealth for my future family tree.
I lay out my whole business model in “Mastering Yourself” totally for free. This is also available at UnderstandingRelationships.com. So, if you’re going to be doing things online, I lay out the framework for everything that I do in business online, so you don’t have to go out and reinvent the wheel. And the one thing I will say about generational wealth, I think that’s awesome that you want to do that for your kids, but the thing you’ve got to keep in mind is think about what happened to the Rockefeller family.
The original Rockefeller who made all his money and passed it to his son and then the grandkids, what a bunch of fuckups they were. I do not agree with putting hundreds of billions of dollars in the hands of people who grow up with a silver spoon in their mouth, with nannies, pampered and everything is paid for for them, because they never struggle for anything. They don’t know what it’s like for average people.
And then when you get people like that, those trust fund babies, they’re fucking evil. The Rockefeller family, they were a bunch of fucking evil people, and the things that they’ve done to the world and all of the problems that we have now are because of them, because of that wealth that they did not earn themselves. They didn’t appreciate it and they looked arrogantly down through their nose at the rest of humanity.
We’re still dealing with the repercussions of that and trying to get away from that. Especially all this stuff like “toxic masculinity.” It’s just part of the thing the family got involved in, so they could move society in the way they wanted to. But I’m not going to get into that. There’s plenty of stuff on that kind of topic. But thankfully, they’ve all passed away, at least all the grandkids have passed away, and a lot of the stuff they created is starting to dissolve now that they’re no longer here to keep pushing it along.
So, keep that in mind about wanting to give your kids tons of money, so they have it easy. The reality is, anything that comes easy in life, we don’t appreciate it. It’s great for working capital to get them on their feet, get them started and teaching them to be self-reliant, but if they don’t earn it themselves, they’re not going to value it, they’re not going to appreciate it. And if you have a couple of generations, like what you saw with the Rockefeller family, they truly become evil people that really fuck a lot of things up in society.
Thank you sir for sharing your knowledge. I will continue to recommend your book to whoever will listen.
So, if you’d like to get my help personally, the quickest way is to go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly.
“Toxic masculinity doesn’t exist. It’s a term invented to weaken and tear down strong men by Marxist beta males and females. Toxic masculinity is simply another way to describe guys who are jerks. All men and women have both masculine and feminine energy. In most men, masculine energy is dominant. In most women, feminine energy is dominant. In all healthy relationships, including gay and lesbian relationships, there must be a balanced sexual polarity of masculine and feminine energy in order for there to be sexual attraction. Otherwise, without sexual polarity, couples become like platonic friends and roommates instead of lovers, and the sex life becomes nonexistent. The quickest way to return any troubled relationship to a balanced and healthy one with a great sex life is for both partners to start acting congruent with their natural dominant sexual essences.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne