No More Needy Mr. Nice Guy!
How you can go from being a needy nice guy women ignore to a man women can’t keep their hands off of.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email success story from a twenty-six year old guy who says he used to be extremely needy with women. He shares how my dating, career and personal development fundamentals have improved all areas of his life and enabled him to become a more balanced man, so that things have become easy and effortless with women.
He shares how he recently met a woman in public, made a date and she proposed that they go back to his place shortly after their first date started. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
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I’ve got a good email success story from 26-year old guy who he didn’t say how long he’s been following me, but he said what really caused him to want to get into my work, my first book, How To Be A 3% Man, as well as my second book, Mastering Yourself, was all of the areas of personal development that I focus on — career, dating, business, all of the different fundamentals, including health, that help guys and girls become the best version of themselves. Because when you become the best version of yourself, you put yourself in a position where you’re the most attractive person in your career and your personal life, when it comes to starting a business, looking for investors.
In other words, you optimize your life to the point where everybody around you recognizes you as kind of being at the forefront or being the high achiever or the type of person that everybody looks up to and admires. And basically, what I teach is the science of high achievement fundamentals. It’s a way to optimize your life. I like to say, it’s like the cheat codes to life.
So, he shares how his life has changed and it’s helped him in all areas, but he also goes into a successful seduction that he had recently with a woman that he met. And I just like how it flowed, because she liked him, he liked her, and he’s looking for the signs. I mean, it’s just textbook. He just does a great job. And so, I figured this would be a good, inspiring success story of how a guy randomly met a woman out in public, set up a date, and how it ended in an easy, successful seduction — a nice afternoon delight or early evening delight, if you will.
I like to bring this up a lot and point it out a lot, is that if you look at the older movies 40, 50, 60, 70 years ago, this is the way the women were behaving — healthy masculine and healthy feminine archetypes. But you look at what we see today, and it’s the exact opposite. And if you think about it, from the time you’re a little kid and you grow up and you see this thousands and thousands of times, over and over in all the movies and TV shows, you can’t help but have that propaganda rewire your brain, and you literally become emotionally anchored to certain behaviors.
That’s how Hollywood uses music and emotions to manipulate the viewer into becoming attached, and involved and wrapped up in the story. And if you don’t have somebody that knows or understands these things, you can literally become emotionally anchored to the exact opposite way of how you should be showing up in the real world.
Viewer’s Email:
Hi Coach,
Want to wish you well. I am writing to you in order to send you a success story I’ve had after studying and implementing your work. I’m 26 and used to be extremely needy with women.
Well, what is neediness? It’s thinking you’re not good enough, thinking that what you bring to the table, nobody else is going to find desirable. And so, therefore, when that’s your belief, you try to make up for it by trying to force things, force interactions, you’re in a rush, you’re impatient, and you literally, even when you encounter women who like you, you chase them out of your life and you completely turn them off. Because everything you’re communicating is “I’m not worthy, I don’t deserve you. I’m not worthy, I don’t deserve you,” and eventually she can’t help but agree, and want to get away from you and flee you like the plague.
I stumbled upon your work on YouTube and decided to buy your book. What made me a devout student was how you offered dating, career, and personal coaching that all seemed to flow together.
Well, these things are all important in making you the most attractive man that you can be. You want to optimize your body. You want to optimize your health. You want to optimize your life, your career, your social life and your intimate life with the women that you date. The difference between average people and high achievers and really successful people is just simply the strategies that they employ. It’s like one of the reasons why I’ve been able to achieve the things I’ve achieved in my life is I just simply apply better success principles than most people do.
Each aspect has improved because of your work. My success story started when I went for a ride and stumbled upon an outdoor fitness center. As a fitness enthusiast, I checked it out and made eye contact a few times with a cute girl. I introduced myself to her and found out she was a college student back home for winter break.
How fortuitous.
After some good chit-chat, I got her number and quickly went back to having fun riding, despite her wanting to continue talking to me.
Like the old adage in show business, always leave them wanting more.
I later called her, set a definite date, and then went about my life with my purpose. We met up for ice cream. She tried to test me for ordering “plain” vanilla. I didn’t let her sway me and owned it. She wore a shirt that showed off her arms and I asked to “feel the guns.” After I felt them she said, “It’s my turn to feel yours.”
Do you think she’s interested? I would say yes.
And I said, “You can later if you’re lucky,” while not breaking eye contact and a smirk on my face.
Very, very good, Padawan. Love is playful and fun, it’s not serious. He’s not being a jerk, he’s just being silly. I mean, I have an ice cream. How can you be serious when you have an ice cream?
That led to some more flirtation, and I could tell things were going well.
So obviously, this girl really likes him. And so, all he has to do is just not talk her out of it. And every guy, as long as he takes decent care of himself, is going to have these kinds of encounters occasionally where a woman just really likes you. And all you have to do is not talk her out of it. And you do that by displaying your most attractive self, which obviously “How To Be A 3% Man” and “Mastering Yourself” can help you do.
After ice cream I planned to take her to a bar nearby, so we walked over.
I talk about, in “How To Be A 3% percent Man,” the idea, especially like on a first date, if you go to two or three places together, it gives the emotional experience of being on two to three different dates. And most women will sleep with a guy by the second or third date on average when she really likes the guy. Because, even for women, it’s really rare that they meet a guy that they just click with and it seems easy and effortless, especially nowadays, because so many guys have no idea what they’re doing. They’re boys. They don’t act like men. They act like little boys, and they have no idea what to do. And so, when an attractive woman encounters a guy she really likes and he acts like a man, it’s like the door is just open and all he has to do is walk through it.
Just like the book said, she started to bump into me, so I held her hand.
He’s not grabbing her, he doesn’t have his hands all over. He’s just, hey, let’s have some ice cream joke around, flirtatious. He didn’t try to make a move or do anything in there. And so, as they’re walking down the street, she starts bumping into him. And that’s what happens. As the anticipation grows on her, she’s thinking, “When is he going to touch me?”
Women do this. I think, for the most part, they don’t really even think about it. They just can’t help but want to be closer to you. And when they start bumping into you, that’s the signal that touching is okay, and then you slowly reciprocate. And you go slightly slower than she is, instead of you being the one to bump into and touch her. It’s just much better to start out this way, because you’re creating the conditions from the very moment you go out on your first date to where she’s always chasing you, she’s always seeking your attention and validation.
Before we got there, I went for the kiss.
He escalated it a little further.
We were still a few blocks away from the bar and she said to me, “You mentioned you live nearby right?”
Check please! Hang out, have fun while you’re hanging out, and then hook up. So we’re right in the midpoint in our story, right at the have fun part. And these are in order.
I saw a comment the other day on my social media. I was looking at how a post was doing, and a guy was like, “hang out, hook up, have fun.” And somebody was breaking his balls saying, “Dude, you got those reversed.” So I’m thinking, maybe I needed to change these mugs in the future and actually number these, because it’s important to do these in order. Otherwise, you’re putting the cart before the horse. And if you do that, you will get rejected. Crash and burn.
Message received; Uber to my place called. Let’s just say I won the Gold Medal a few times in the Indoor Olympics.
Well, congratulations on your gold medals.
Overall, I wanted to say thank you because you have transformed my life for the better, and it’s been only a little over a year since I’ve been learning from you.
So, it’s about a year he’s been following me.
I now know exactly what I want out of life, and though at times it is challenging…
It’s always going to be challenging, dude. Life always throws you curveballs. All kinds of things happen that you least expect. You’ve got to try to find a way to have fun, because it ain’t going to last forever.
…the journey has been so fulfilling. I feel like I’m only getting better with age. Currently, I am preparing myself so that when I meet one of those dream girls you encounter only one to three times every decade, I will be prepared. A message to other viewers watching this video: READ THE BOOK 10–15 TIMES. Don’t be lazy and cherry-pick.
This is true. But you know what? There’s lots of guys that are watching this and going, “I don’t need to read that book 10 to 15 times.” And you’ll be doing a phone session with me, or you’ll be sending one of those desperate emails. Haste makes waste.
I am on my combined 10th reading of the book/listening of the audio book, and the only reason I have not doubled that is because I am applying this principle to other books since it works so well. Put in the work and enjoy the process.
Thank you again Coach,
Bob
And remember to hang out, have fun and hook up. Keep things simple.
So, if you’d like to get my help personally, maybe you’re having a challenge in your personal or your professional life and you’d like to get me to help you optimize that and help you relieve the stress in your life and come up with better strategies, so you can get to your outcomes a lot quicker — because the one thing we all have a finite amount of is time, so you want to optimize how you use your time — go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page and book a coaching session with yours truly.
“One of the secrets of seduction for men that is counter-intuitive is that men should go slightly slower than women do when it comes to romance and intimacy. Attraction is not a choice. If a woman really likes a guy, and the guy slowly reciprocates interest at a pace that is slightly slower than the pace that a woman reveals and communicates her interest, it will cause her to become bolder and try to get his attention more than he is trying to get hers. This builds sexual anticipation and makes the process of seduction easy and effortless without the fear of rejection, because the woman becomes the aggressor.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
