Low Character Women Cheat. High Character Women Leave.
Why low character women cheat and lie and high character women leave when they’re unhappy.
In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who says his fiancé of 12 years and baby momma cheated on him with a male coworker. After reading my book he realized he did countless things wrong to turn her off so she gave up on him. He lost his job, stopped shaving and grooming and gained weight, he argued with her, insulted her and her family, ignored her, etc. He caught her going to her coworkers house for a booty call back in February. She is now sleeping on the couch and says she’s unsure if she wants to give him another chance. He says he wants her back for the sake of the kids and asks my opinion. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
*Disclosure: This article contains affiliate links. An affiliate link means I may earn referral fees if you make a purchase through my link, without any extra cost to you. Thank you for your support.
Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s newsletter is going to be, “Low Character Women Cheat. High Character Women Leave.”
Well, this particular email is from a viewer. He’s been with his fiancée and baby mama for 12 years. And recently over the last 4 or 5 months, he found out that she has been cheating on him with a male coworker. And so, there’s a lot of things that this guy did. Obviously he’s just gone through 3% Man, realizes all his mistakes. I mean, he basically totally let himself go. He says he quit shaving. He quit grooming and taking care of himself. He gained a lot of weight.
He got out of shape. He argued with her. He insulted her, and her family. He ignored her. And just did (pretty much everything you shouldn’t), and on top of that, he lost his job and then really didn’t do much to go out and find another one. Now he’s injured, he’s got to have an operation. And so his wife, his fiancée is sleeping on the couch. She leaves to go out somewhere at least once a week, probably for a booty call with the guy she’s actually sleeping with.
And her attitude is, “Oh, I don’t know if I want to work it out.” And so, he’s taking care of himself, starting to work out, get back in shape. He’s shaving, he’s grooming. He’s trying to make her feel heard and understood. But, you know, again, she’s sleeping on the couch and she’s cheating on him. And he says, “Well, I think, I want to give her another chance for the sake of the children.” Which is a noble thought. But the glaring reality is that, you know, she did him pretty dirty.
She basically has been cheating on him with another guy. Now, you could look at it and say, “Well, he pretty much checked out. Wasn’t even making an effort.” He says, he was just completely ignoring her, not really talking to her. And I guess, you know, something happened in December. Like he really didn’t even acknowledge their anniversary. And what she later said was that was it for her. She was like, “If you don’t even do anything for our anniversary or acknowledge it, it’s like, I’m out.”
And so, she just went and had sex with somebody else. And did it behind his back, and lined up another dude. And now she’s like, “Well, I don’t know if I want to work things out or not.” And then meanwhile she’s going and getting dicked down by Chad Thunder Cock. So I mean the reality is, this is just a perfect case in point.
If she’s a high character woman, she’s like, “Hey, I’m not happy. You know, I don’t want to be married to you. I don’t want to go through with the marriage, and I want to break up and go our separate ways.” And then she moves out, takes the kids or whatever. And goes and lives her life.
But a low character woman is like, “Hey, my needs aren’t being met. He’s an idiot for not paying attention to what he’s got. I’m just going to go have sex with somebody else.” So if you take a woman like that back, what are you saying? You’re saying, “Hey, it’s okay to cheat on me.”
But then again, he totally let himself go and made no effort to date her, to seduce her, to make her feel heard and understood. It’s like they were living together, but Elvis had left the building. But the reality is she’s still started a relationship with somebody else at the office, which is not a nice thing to do, especially when you get two kids with somebody. You’ve been together for 12 years, you’re living in the same house.
So despite the fact you’re living in the same house and things aren’t going well between the two of you, instead of just leaving, taking some time to heal, then getting back into the dating world, she’s like, “Oh, I’m just going to go have sex with somebody else.” That’s basically what she did. So let’s go through his email.
Viewer’s Email:
Coach,
I found your material far too late, like so many others, but I think my situation might be of value to other listeners. After watching about a dozen of your videos multiple times each, and reading 3% Man three times (bought it), I have decided to write this email.
My fiancé of 12 years (and mother of our two children) has ended our relationship after forming an emotional bond with a coworker and cheating on me with him. Despite being unsure if I would ever take her back, I still wanted to explore what went wrong on my end, and I after learning a lot about human nature and my many mistakes, I think I would be willing to give her another chance for the sake of our children.
Well, at the end of the day, whatever the example that you and your now ex fiancée present for your children is what they’re going to grow up and aspire to. And so do you want; because I mean, this is what’s going to happen. I mean, say 3 or 4 years or five years down the road, same thing. You get busy, you can get complacent. You go through a tough time, you start neglecting her again. She’d just go and fuck somebody else.
Do you want to go through with a marriage, knowing what divorce laws are like and how disadvantaged? Depending on the state you live in, most guys happen to be in a divorce. Because right now you guys just live together, you’re engaged, you have kids, but you’re not married. And so, if I were you, I would definitely go talk to an attorney, or a divorce attorney and tell them about your situation. And he can give you some real numbers as to at least like whatever your state or your country is, like what the stats are, what’s the likelihood that it’s going to work out.
Because she’s already cheated on you now when you’re engaged after 12 years together and two children. You take her back. You’re basically saying, “Hey, it’s okay, I forgive you.” And so therefore, if you slack off again, because if we just look at our actions, she’ll do the same exact thing in the future. And so what you have to decide is, are you okay with that? If your game is tight and you treat her great and she falls back in love with you and you apply what’s in The Book, she’ll probably be loyal and faithful as long as she’s happy.
But as soon as she’s not, she’s going to be inviting attention from other men. But again, I mean, this guy let things go to like, you know, they were basically just roommates and were ignoring each other. But still, you live with somebody, you got kids, and you’re leaving the house to go have sex with somebody else when you’re still engaged. And probably all their friends and family think everything is wonderful and hunky dory with their relationship.
And in reality, she’s sleeping with somebody else. And now she’s sleeping on the couch and going, “Oh, I don’t know if I want to work this out.” You never try to keep somebody that doesn’t want to keep you. And as Maya Angelou said, “When somebody shows you or tells you who they are, believe them the first time.” So do you want to co-parent? I mean, you’re going to co-parent either way, but do you want to go through and marry somebody like this who’s already cheated on you? And is that the value system that you want to transfer to your kids?
Or wouldn’t it be better if you let her go and you found somebody who was more family oriented. Somebody who was more loyal and faithful and had better communication skills. And is family oriented and comes from a good family. Because this your fiancée, I mean, it’s 12 years that you’ve got with this woman, and this is how she treats you. And she’s got an attitude like she’s doing you a favor. She’s the one cheating on you. You were loyal. She wasn’t.
I really don’t think I could have done much more wrong, so it’s hard to say I shouldn’t. I stopped courting her, I argued with her, I insulted her family both directly and indirectly, I stayed unemployed for a few months longer than we had planned, and then when she told me she was unhappy, I made zero changes. She started ignoring me, so I acted like a child and started ignoring her in return, watching porn, and reduced my shaving down to about once a week or two.
Yeah, letting yourself go. It’s like you come together to share your completeness. And it’s like you punish her by just, you know, treating your body like a garbage dump. And just being a smelly, stinky, unemployed dude that’s sitting at home on his couch jerking off to porn.
To make things worse, I pulled my hernia during my job search and had to schedule surgery as well as further postpone my return to work. I decided I should start making changes before it was too late. I started shaving again, I started wearing a hernia brace, and working out and I started eating better. I told her I wanted to stop being an asshole and that I was sorry.
When our anniversary came in December, I didn’t celebrate it, because I was still blaming her for our lack of intimacy, and I later I found out that was the straw that broke the camel’s back and a week after our anniversary is when she began her affair.
Yeah. If you’re ignoring your anniversary and you don’t even acknowledge it, it’s obviously you’re presenting the image to her that you don’t care about the relationship anymore either. And so, the way she responds is, “Okay, well, I’m just going to go have sex with somebody else.” You probably weren’t expecting that, but that’s how she reacted.
Again, a woman who comes from a good family where Mom and dad are together, she’s going to be like, you know, “He didn’t even celebrate our anniversary. He’s a jerk. I’m leaving him.” And she’d pack her shit and go. Probably go to her parents house or whatever. But selfish, narcissistic women tend to just be like, “Well, all’s fair in love and war. You know, you snooze, you lose. I’ll just go fuck the guy from the office that’s been trying to get in my pants for the last six months.” And that’s what she did.
She asked for space on February 21, so I freaked out and then found your material. I caught her going to his house on February 25, and we broke up. I had my surgery on March 13. Today is March 24 and I cannot work until April 24. She has been sleeping on the couch. She says he isn’t her boyfriend, but she stays out after work at least once a week.
Well, it’s obvious it’s a once a week booty call. Definitely.
We are on a lease together until September (about 6 more months), and she keeps saying that she doesn’t know whether she wants to make things work or not, but anything could happen.
It’s like, “Well, you’re either in or you’re out. You either want to make it work or you don’t. I’m not going to sit here for the next six months while you sleep in the couch and go fuck some other guy. So if you want to work things out, tell the other guy to fuck off and focus on our family, or pack your shit and go. Simple as that.” And then you pay the rent, and she can go live with her family or whatever.
Because the idea is if you’re wanting to work things out, which in this case I personally wouldn’t. But hey, you know, I’m not the guy that’s been with her for 12 years and has two children with her. So it’s easy for me and probably the majority of the audience to be like, “Yeah. Throw the bitch to the curb, man. Throw her ass back to the streets.”
Because again, if you take her back, you’re just telling her you’re training her that it’s okay, and she can get away with it. There are no consequences. The best thing for your kids is you to take care of yourself. You’ve got to get a job, get back fit and in shape, and find a high character woman to date and be a good stepmom to your kids. And maybe someone you can have a few extra kids with as well, so you can have a nice, blended family.
Because it’s clear that this is how your fiancée operates. If she’s happy, she’ll probably be loyal, and if she’s not, she has no problem doing shit behind your back and fucking somebody else and arranging a relationship. Even though you live together, you still thought you had a commitment. But she unilaterally broke it and decided to sleep with somebody else, even though she still had your engagement ring on.
Again, I wouldn’t forgive that. But it’s your life. You know, you do what you want. But the reality is, is that down the road, when you slack off, she’s going to do this to you again. And she’ll feel no remorse because this is her value system. You just have to decide whether you’re cool with it or not. Because again, you take her back, she’ll definitely do it to you again the next time you slip up.
Do you really want to sleep with one eye open the rest of your life? I personally wouldn’t. You know, love cannot exist where there is no trust. And on some level, even if you get back together with her every time you see her phone lying face down, or you see her on her phone, you’re going to wonder, “Is she texting that guy from work? What’s going on?”
I have stopped all negative interactions, given her space, and tried to make her feel heard and understood by asking her about her day and listening. But I can’t work yet, and I really want her to have a chance to reset her framing of my character.
Your mindset is, “How can I get another chance with her?” She cheated on you, Bro. She dicked you over. She violated her commitment to you. Despite the fact that you aren’t showing up like you should have been, she still made a commitment to you to marry you, and instead she just went and had sex with somebody else.
And again, a high character woman would have left and then spent some time healing and then started dating when she felt up for it. But her, she’s like, “Okay, I’m lonely. I’m lonely. I’m horny.” She goes out and sleeps with the dude from the office. She doesn’t feel remorse for it.
Should I stay at a friend’s house for a few days?
No fucking way. She’s the one who cheated. She’s the one that fucked up.
Perhaps even until I can work and afford my half of the bills plus some date nights?
Thank you and sorry for such a long email,
Bob
No fucking way. Absolutely not. She’s the one who cheated. She’s got to fix this. If you’re willing to give her another chance. Which I personally wouldn’t, but it’s your life. You can do what you want. You’re already taking care of yourself. You’ve got to find a job, obviously. And you know, this email is about a month since he first sent it in.
So I assume he’s either back to work, or looking for a job in earnest. I would hope there’s also a lot of information in Mastering Yourself on “How To Get Any Job You Want.” If you haven’t read that already, that’s obviously in the Members Area. If you’re a free member, you can Subscribe, put your Name and your email in the email sign up box, and Subscribe and read it. I highly recommend you to do that.
And so, when you come home, “Hey babe, how was your day?” And just get her to talk, get her to open up. But I would definitely sit down with her and say, “Look, I want to work things out. If you either want to keep our family together or you don’t. I don’t want you sleeping on the couch and go, gee, I’m not sure. It’s like, I don’t want to hear that. If you’re not willing to make the effort, then you’re the one that’s cheating. You need to pack your shit and go. Simple as that.”
And if she leaves, she leaves. Then you should start dating and hanging out, having fun and hooking up. Applying what you’re learning in 3% Man, and gets you some choices and some options. Because again, if you take her back all you’re doing is saying, “Hey, thank you. May I have another? Please do that to me again.” And she will the next time you slip up.
And it’s like, if you’re cool with that, I wouldn’t be. But if you’re cool with that, if you like that downside risk, then you know it’s your life, Dude. If you if you want to take that risk, I wouldn’t. But you do what you want. But I would not leave your house. I would not move out. Even if she’s paying all the bills and she’s like, “I’m not leaving. I pay all the bills. You’re not paying anything.”
Go, “I don’t care. We’re a family. We’ve been together for 12 years. It’s supposed to be for richer, for poorer. In sickness and in health.” He says, “I’m poor right now. I lost my job. I’m injured. I can’t fucking work. You’re supposed to stand by me. But you didn’t. You just went and started fucking somebody from work. You’re the one who fucked up. You’re the one that needs to apologize for this. You’re the one who needs to beg for forgiveness and ask for a second chance. And if you’re not willing to do that, then pack your shit and go. Simple as that. And then in September, I’ll get my own place.”
That’s what I would do if I were you, my man.
And so, for those of you that don’t know, we’ve started putting Members Only Content, Exclusive Members Only Content for paying Members on my Website. UnderstandingRelationships.Com. Just click the Premium Tab on the top of the website link bar if you’d like to Subscribe on YouTube.
In the description underneath this video, there are links to Subscribe on YouTube. You can also Subscribe on Spotify if you would prefer to get the videos there. Obviously, if you Subscribe on the Website, you get the Email Analysis that goes along with this Video Newsletter that The Girls do.
So again, those links are underneath. And so, we have right now I’m doing about six additional Video Newsletters per week. We’ve got the 3% Man Study Group with Caroline, Chunky and The Girls. And we’re getting ready to start filming this week.
Because now they’re finished with Mastering Yourself. And so, we’re going to start a Study Group for Mastering Yourself as well. And film an episode of that a week. And plus any of the Viewer Podcasts. When we sit down and we answer probably 12 to 15 different short Viewer Questions over the course of about an hour and a half or so.
We’ve got those in the Members Area as well, because you guys been asking for, “Hey, where’s the whole Podcast with all these Viewer Questions together?” So we put our whole film days there. Again, it’s YouTube, Spotify and UnderstandingRelationships.com we’ve got all of this Members Only Content. And for everybody that’s already subscribed, we definitely appreciate it.
So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page on my website, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.