Low Character Women Are Only Loyal When They’re Happy
Why you should let women go who display signs that they are disloyal.
In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who started dating a woman last December. He was a little controlling, needy and neurotic at times which obviously turned her off. When things went sideways, she started contacting her ex and other men. She also created a new online dating profile while they were still together. He went through her phone and caught her in lies which she only admitted to when he told her he had already gone through her phone and knew the truth. Then he walked away. Now he wonders if he should contact her again. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
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Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “Low Character Women Are Only Loyal When They’re Happy.”
Well, this particular email is from a guy. He started dating a woman last December. That would be December 2023. And he was a little controlling, needy, neurotic at times. That obviously turned her off. And things went sideways. And then when things went sideways. And one of the reasons why I chose this email is, character is destiny. I say it quite a bit. And so if you’re dating a low character woman, this is basically how she’s going to behave when she thinks that the future of the relationship is in doubt.
She’ll just start talking to her exes, giving out her phone number. And in this particular case, she was also nice enough to start an online dating profile on Bumble, and then later claim, “oh, it was just a friend finder thing”, and he had gone through her phone already and he catches her lying. And now he broke things off. And now he’s like, “should I contact her again?” As Maya Angelou said, “When somebody shows you or tells you who they are, believe them the first time.”
So if you’re a guy that’s looking for a long term partner and you’re dating a low character woman, every time that she wonders or worries about the future of your relationship or it’s going to work out, she’s going to start inviting attention from other men in order to line up a replacement, instead of trying to fix the relationship or have some kind of code of honor and loyalty and let you know she’s unhappy. And if things don’t change, she’s going to dip.
If things don’t change, then she dips. She takes some time to heal. Get her life back in order, get her own place again. And then when she’s ready, she’ll start dating. Whereas a low character woman is going to start trying to monkey branch right away, or every time she feels insecure. And so if she’s happy, she’s going to be pretty loyal. Usually. That’s if you’re doing everything right, applying what’s in The Book. But you slip up like all of us do. Everybody’s going to slip up at some point.
Then women, if you’re in a low a relationship with a low character woman, this is how she’s going to treat you. So it’s word to the wise, learn from this guy’s errors and mistakes. So if you spot this kind of behavior when you’re dating somebody, or they tell you that this is how they behave, or you find out that’s how they behave in the past, you shouldn’t be surprised when you slip up that that’s how they treat you.
Viewer Email:
Hey Coach,
First of all I appreciate your work and the value you provide on a big area of a man’s life! I started dating a woman end of December and everything clicked immediately. We spent a lot of time together right away-it was very authentic, passionate, serious. She was very interested and made a big effort.
We had a few minor issues, which I addressed since she also said it was important and serious to her. After she stayed at my place for a week, her ex followed her on Instagram hours after she left, which pissed me off — not only did she not delete it, but she also followed him back.
Yeah, if you start a new relationship and you’re hot and heavy with a girl and you think it’s progressing, and then you see her following her ex, and he’s following her back, obviously things are not as good as you thought they were. Or she’s just a low character person.
Because he gives the impression that things are really great. She’s really into him. Maybe he was way more into her than she was into him, and he wasn’t paying attention to that because he was only focused on his attraction to her.
I wanted to end things but she tried to make it right. We continued, but she still had a few comments from her ex on her pictures, which I brought up several times.
So he’s constantly prompting her about this disloyal behavior. She wants to stay together, but yet she’s not really correcting anything to show him that she’s going to be loyal to him. It’s like she’s keeping her options open. She’s sitting on the fence. And you don’t want somebody sitting on the fence for you. You want somebody to jump fences to be with you.
She said she wanted to deal with it at her own pace.
In other words, she’s just used to BS and men, and they put up with it. Probably because this is what she learned from her parents. Just BS the person and it’ll go away, sweep it under the rug and pretend it’s not there.
Eventually, I was really upset and we had no contact for a day or two until I called her to cancel an upcoming date. I told her I wanted to end things for now but was willing to continue if she met my needs. Surprisingly she said she was also considering ending things.
So she clearly wasn’t in love with him at that point. I would say partly in the beginning, I don’t I don’t think he was familiar with my work. He’s probably came into it after the fact. And so he’s probably a little controlling, a little too demanding, probably pursuing her too much and just not giving her the chance to come to him at her pace.
And so her feelings never really, truly, deeply developed for him. And plus, we don’t know how long she was with the ex because he doesn’t mention that. But it’s clear she’s given the ex the green light to try to get back with her. Especially if they’re following each other on Instagram again.
We decided to take some time and talk again in a few days. Two days later, we had a phone call where everything was great, she was confident about us handling upcoming problems better. Just until, to end the call, I asked jokingly, how we should proceed.
Well, you shouldn’t be asking a woman how to proceed. That’s a question. Basically says, “hey, why don’t you be my mommy and be the leader and be the man in the relationship basically.” That’s why I think this guy’s brand into my work. Probably cherry picking videos. Hasn’t even gotten around to reading The Book. So that’s part of the problem he’s got working against him, is he’s doing and saying things to turn her off, and that keeps her from falling deeply, head over heels in love with him and wanting to be with him.
But on the flip side, he’s kind of getting to see what she’s like. Because if you’re the prize, if you’re the catch, if it’s the woman’s department, like I talk about in The Book 3% Man, that she should be the one bringing up the relationship and you never get her to that point, then you’re just kind of one of the guys that she’s dating or sleeping with. Or one of the potential new boyfriend prospects to her. So again, it just looks to me like he was way more into her than she was into him.
And he wasn’t happy with the fact that she wasn’t progressing as quickly as he was. It’s always better if she thinks that she likes you more than you like her. When it’s the other way around, like in this case, and especially if you’re dealing with low character girl. I mean, he’s kind of demanding loyalty where it doesn’t really seem as if they got to the point where it was really her idea. She’s just kind of going along with it, probably because she doesn’t want to upset him because he doesn’t handle things too well.
She said it would be better to end things. I simply agreed. Exactly a week later, I called her because I wanted my keys back, and we ended up making it a date. Everything went well until we were at her place, and she mentioned not knowing what I had been up to during our separation.
I said, since it was just a week not much happened and I asked her back. I told her that if things were different, I wouldn’t be okay with it. We continued dating and she eventually dealt with the Instagram situation. She told me also that she entirely “cleaned up” her Instagram including followers and followings.
So you can tell she wasn’t really down to erase these people from her Instagram. And again, it just kind of shows where she was in her feelings and her interest towards him.
But again, if you’re dating somebody and you’re spending all this time with them, she’s not really doing anything to kind of show or prove that she’s a loyal person and he’s having to reiterate these things. He’s like, “hey, I’m happy to date you, but it’s like, you got to get rid of these exes. Otherwise, you know, we’re just kind of fuck buddies, friends with benefits, and I can date and sleep with who I want. And you can date and sleep with who you want. And if I get serious with somebody else, I’ll have you know, unfortunately, you know, I won’t be able to see you anymore.”
Because she’s on probation, too. And it’s like, this guy’s already decided as soon as he started dating her that she won the race and he wasn’t really paying attention to her character, or trying to vet her properly. He’s just trying to impose his will on honor. Instead of giving her the space and time away from him to wonder about him, to think about him, to miss him, and most importantly, for her to think that he trusts her completely so she can see how she really operates when she thinks the guy trusts her.
Because then if she wants to get serious and she’s bringing it up, he can be pointing out it’s like, “Well, you and your ex are following each other on Instagram, so it’s pretty clear something’s going on there. And if you followed him back, then that’s giving him the impression that you’re open to rekindling things.
And if I’m going to get exclusive with somebody, I’m certainly not going to get exclusive with somebody that is open to rekindling things with their ex. If things aren’t completely done with him, then why don’t you go date him and then get in touch with me later down the road if it doesn’t work out. And then if I’m still available, maybe we could go out on a date.”
At some point, she seemingly forgot to close Bumble next to me and explained that she downloaded it only for “Bumble Friends” (but no profile yet) since she had no friends to join her in any sports courses.
I mean, it’s true that Bumble does have a friend finder type of feature, but when you see the behavior inviting attention from the ex, it just looks like it tells me that she didn’t perceive this guy as boyfriend material. Or a guy that she was going to get serious with because of his behavior, and she was keeping her options open. So it’s also possible that, again, he thought that they had something special going, and to her it was just a guy she was casually dating and not really too sure of because he was a little smothering.
After a few days of thinking and she wanting to make things up, I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. She told me that she loves me for the first time and we made our relationship official. From then on, a few arguments started because she might want to go out partying sometime in the future, which, she knew, went against my views on relationships, and she thought it would be better to end things like 2 or 3 times.
Yeah, again, that just shows me that she’s not super into it. And if a girl wants to lock you down to a commitment and be exclusive and committed, but then yet still wants to go out clubbing with her single girlfriends. It’s like, hey, you can go clubbing with your single girlfriends. I’m just not going to be your boyfriend. We can be friends with benefits because that just tells me you’re wanting to hold on to me while you go out and still explore and see if there’s somebody else out there.
And it’s like, that tells me your real mindset is, we’re just kind of casually dating. So no, I’m not going to be boyfriend/girlfriend with a woman who has that attitude. I’m not going to be exclusive with a woman who has that attitude. If you want me to be your man, then then be my woman and be loyal. Don’t expect me to be loyal and faithful to you while you basically act like you’re still single and a free agent and constantly inviting. Avoiding attention from other men.
If a girl is serious about her man and she wants to go clubbing, she’s going to want her man to go with her and she’s not going to go without him. She’s just not going to want to do that because she does not want to go there and get hit on by other dudes. But if she was totally okay with that, especially if she doesn’t want the guy to come with her because her single friends just want to go out and have a girls night out and she doesn’t want you there.
Well, that should communicate that you’re really not that important to her, and she likes going out and getting attention from other men that are not her boyfriend. So those are not the signs of somebody that’s all in and has the intent of being loyal to you. It’s like they locked you up to exclusivity so you don’t go date and sleep with somebody else. But meanwhile, the way they’re operating is being open to dating other people when they’re supposedly in a relationship with you.
Her friends also advised her that my views were wrong.
Probably because they’re single and they want her to be single.
Despite this, we managed everything well, and the last few months went nicely — I met her whole family, we went on vacation just two weeks ago. Last Sunday, for the first time, I checked her phone — it was always accessible to me — and searched the chat with one of her best friends for the week when we were separated. I read that some guy she already knew had been at her place three days after we broke up. This guy was also still in her contacts and they were still following each other.
Remember she told him she cleaned up everything, right? She deleted all those guys and that’s behind her.
I gave her the chance to tell me the truth and be honest with me. She initially denied it until she knew I knew. I packed my stuff and said I hope it was worth it. She stood in front of the door and tried to make me look guilty for just going through her phone. After I got home, she sent me a neutral message, saying she regretted disappointing someone she valued and liked and that she did it to protect us or something.
Nah, she was just hoping you weren’t going to figure it out. But what seems like he did was he created the conditions where she thought he totally trusted her and things were good and all that stuff was behind him. His Spidey sense was probably tingling and telling him something was a little up. So he goes and he looks through her phone, finds out that she hadn’t actually followed through on everything that she claims she did.
She wasn’t totally honest about it. She was partially honest. He confronts her about it. Instead of her coming clean, she tries to cover it up with a lie and he finally admits, hey, I saw it in your phone. You’re lying to my face. He’s like, so she lies about little things like that. She’s just got low character. You don’t want to marry a girl or you don’t want to be in a relationship with a girl like that. And you certainly don’t have children with a woman that has no problem looking you in the eye and just lying through her teeth to your face constantly and incessantly.
Especially when it comes to hiding other men that she’s talking to, when you’re supposedly seeing one another, or when she’s supposedly deleted all those guys. She deleted the ones she knew about, but she didn’t delete this particular guy that you did know about. And she assumed since you didn’t know about him, she was going to do what she wanted. And so that just shows her character. She was still keeping her options open. In other words, she wasn’t doing anything to really reassure him that she was loyal and that she was worth his loyalty.
But her effort was limited to that message. I deleted her number and removed her from Instagram, and I haven’t heard from her since.
Bob
I say you did the right thing, my man. It’s you know, it is what it is. In that particular case, it’s, you know, when you date, this is what you’re trying to see. Is this person worthy of your loyalty? And are they going to reciprocate it? Or are they just going to try to deceive you so they can operate how they normally operate, which is just being devious and dishonest and hiding things from you. Love cannot exist where there is no trust.
And a girl like this: fuckbuddy, friends with benefits, sex playmate, hookup buddy. That’s it. You don’t try to wife up somebody like this or get in an exclusive relationship, because she repeatedly showed that she’s just not going to be loyal. She doesn’t value these things. She’s trying to get away with whatever she can get away with. And that’s because those are the values that her parents taught her.
Not your fault. You just have to be open to noticing it and admitting it and unfortunately accepting it, because that’s reality in this particular case. Because you’re not going to fix her, you’re not going to turn her into a loyal, honest person if she’s just simply not acting that way. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.
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