If You Don’t Vet Women Properly, They Can Make Your Life A Living Hell!
The importance of vetting women you date properly to avoid heartbreak & drama.
In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email update from a viewer whose previous email I answered in my video newsletter, “I Got Dumped, Moved On & Attracted A Hotter & Better Woman”. He says he didn’t pay attention to the relationship wisdom in my book and didn’t do a good job of vetting her and her family. They had a child together unexpectedly and then split up because she became unbearable to be with. Now her and her mother are making it impossible to have a relationship with his son and he’s spending a ton of money in attorney’s fees. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
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Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “If You Don’t Vet Women Properly, They Can Make Your Life A Living Hell.”
Well I’ve got an email. It kind of started out as a success story and an update to a video I did back in March of 2023. So it’s over a year and a half ago, and that particular video was titled, “I Got Dumped, Moved On & Attracted A Hotter & Better Woman”. Well, one of the things, the emailer, he sends this email in because he’s in a hell of a mess. So he got totally hypnotized by this girl’s beauty, her pretty face, her sex appeal or nice body. He sent a picture and she’s got a gorgeous figure. So he was raw dogging it and not practicing safe sex. Slipped one past the goalie, and then later found out.
Because, again, he didn’t really take his time to vet her because he was in La La Land because she was so hot. Hey, it happens to all of us. But he says he paid more attention to the pick up and the dating and the seduction skills, but really didn’t focus on the relationship skills or pay much attention to vetting her. He did notice some red flags in the beginning, but because he was Goo Goo Gaga over her, he completely ignored them. Anyways, after she got pregnant, she informed him that she had been on antidepressants and so she stopped taking those.
And then obviously with hormonal changes, the fact that she was pregnant, her behavior just became so unbearable that they ended up breaking up and now they’re fighting it out in court. He basically only gets to see his son four times a month. He’s spending a ton of money on attorneys fees, and she’s trying to get a third of his income And child support from him. And on top of that, I’ll leave the juicy details for the end of the email, but one of his recent times going over to the house to see his son.
He got pushed by his now ex-girlfriend and baby mama. And well, the POPO showed up, so that was a lot of fun. So he sends this in, in hopes that another guy or other guys will listen to this and go, “man, I really got to pay attention to vetting.” Character is destiny. I say it all the time. You got to keep your wits about you, and you can’t just get all Goo Goo Gaga over a girl because she’s hot and got an amazing body and is great in bed. So hopefully you guys learn from this.
Viewer Email:
Hello Corey,
I have been following your work for about three years now. I have lost count of how many times I listened to your audiobook and I watch your videos daily, including the exclusive content.
So he’s obviously a Paying Member of our Members Only Content. And for those of you that haven’t joined and you want to check it out, you can go to UnderstandingRelationships.com. Just click the “plans” tab and you can check out the content you get, with a seven day free trial. You can do a monthly plan or annual plan. With the annual, you get a 25% discount. And with the links, also you can join on YouTube or you could join on Spotify.
So wherever you join is where you’re going to consume the content. If you subscribe on the Website, you won’t be able to see the Exclusive Content on YouTube or vice versa. It’s all the same content, but the difference is with the Website, you get the Email Analysis that goes along with the Videos, and you get the annual plan discount that you can’t get anywhere else. So back to our regularly scheduled email, because this one is obviously for everybody, including the free members.
A friend of mine introduced me to your work after my marriage of seven years ended. You have already answered my e-mail in a video newsletter on the 3rd of March 2023, titled: “I Got Dumped, Moved On & Attracted A Hotter & Better Woman”.
So that was the beginning. When he was in La La Land, he was in the honeymoon phase.
I was the second e-mailer. Thanks to studying and applying your work, I was able to approach and date girls that I previously considered to be way out of my league, so thank you for all these fun experiences.
Well you’re welcome.
In the previous e-mail I describe how I was able to approach in a bookstore a very attractive girl, (picture attached).
And he sends a picture. No, I’m not going to share it. And she does have a gorgeous figure. Nice hair too. Sure, she’s a babe. And, well, at least your son will be attractive. That’s a good way to look at it.
And take her to an instant coffee date.
I kind of remember that one now.
I’m 36 years old, she is now 21. The attraction was there, and things started to develop between us rapidly. We’ve been having a lot of great sex and were reluctant to, as you like to say, put on a raincoat. Because come on, it’s like eating a candy still wrapped in paper!
I know it’s much more fun to raw dog it. It’s like, you know, having sex with a garbage bag on your dick when you put a condom on. It’s just, you might as well fucking jerk off. It’s just not the same. It’s hard though. And if she’s not on birth control, you always got to ask yourself, “Would I want her to be my baby mama if I slip one past the goalie?”
And the other thing you got to consider is what is our family like? Do you want to co-parent and grandparent and co-aunt and uncle parent with her family? Because if you have a kid with somebody, then what’s going to happen is that their family is going to be involved. And if their family is nuts, well, that’s going to be a problem.
Three months down the road.
Wow. Only three months of dating. Oh, yeah. He was totally infatuated. Remember, people can hide who they are for the first 90 days.
She got pregnant with me, and things started to get crazy. She then told me that she was taking antidepressant pills and due to the pregnancy, she had to put them off.
And so what happens, because I speak from personal experience, having watched my mother, who was a psychotic schizophrenic, go on and off her meds and psychotic schizophrenics. They got to be on their meds. If they’re not on their meds, they really do act crazy and are crazy. And unfortunately, my mother thought she was the only sane one and didn’t like taking her medication. And you know, you guys that have read Mastering Yourself know it didn’t end well. But that’s life.
And then my father, he had a fiancée he was engaged to get married to, and she had been on antidepressants most of her life, and any time she had gone off, she tried to take her life. And so on the fifth try, which was when my dad was with her, she started trying to kill herself when she was 21. So she was in her, I think, her late 40s. Late; how old was she? She might have been in her 50s, I would have to say. So she stopped taking him because everything was going great between them.
Then she tried to kill herself the fourth time, wasn’t successful, pumped her stomach. They committed her for, I don’t know, a week or two, which put her more into debt, made her more depressed. And she came back out. All of us got together, celebrated Christmas. And then I remember a few days later, my dad called me, just totally upset, telling me that his girlfriend had hung herself. So I mean, her behavior completely changed when she went off her antidepressants. And I had a girlfriend that was like that.
I remember the last time she came to visit me in the States. We were in bed one night after she was there, and she’s like, “oh, by the way. You know, my antidepressant prescription ran out three days ago before I came to visit you. And I’m not going to take them anymore because things are so great between us. I’m so happy.” I was like, “oh, okay. I didn’t even know you were on antidepressants.” So she had kept it from me for six months, and then within two weeks, she just, it was like Jekyll and Hyde. Completely changed. Totally different behavior.
Just became unbearable to be around. And obviously and she happened to be late. I slipped one past the goalie there. The difference is, she decided she was going to abort the baby and I didn’t have any choice. So that’s how that fun escapade ended for years, truly. But we were dating six months at that point. I had no idea. She totally kept it from me, because she probably knew that I wouldn’t have been a big fan of it. I definitely was obviously not a fan of her going off of her meds because again, the behavior just gets totally out of control and squirrely, and you’re going to see that’s what happens here to this poor guy.
That, plus the pregnancy related shift in hormones drastically changed her personality and made her unbearable.
Yeah, my girlfriend became unbearable.
She was abusive.
Yep.
Manipulative, moody.
Yeah. My ex-girlfriend was definitely moody.
Difficult to talk to and resolve disagreements.
Yep. “I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to talk about it.” Was her favorite expression. You can’t solve problems unless you can talk openly and honestly about them. And when somebody just stonewalls you and refuses to communicate, there’s not a lot you can do. It takes two to tango.
She was the opposite of “easy going, easy to get along with.” She also started to manipulate my mother and sister trying to set them against me and basically turned my life into a nightmare.
Yeah. It is no joke. Those psychotropic drugs are no joke, man. You get involved with a girl that’s on those. Proceed with caution.
I tried to make this work for the sake of our baby, but I would have definitely left her much sooner if that was not the case. I’ve managed to cope with that for a year, but a couple of weeks after my son was born, we’ve decided to split up. She took the baby and moved out back to her mother.
I was devastated that I could not have my son under the same roof. I hoped that we would be able to be good co-parents if we did not live together, but it’s impossible. It is as if she feeds on conflict, and what I see now, her mother is exactly the same, but even more skilled.
See, that’s where the vetting didn’t happen. Because, again, he was in La La Land, and he was raw dogging her. And, you know, after only three months of dating, he knocked her up. So he really never took the time to vet her. He was just like, “she’s perfect. She’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.” I mean, it happens. My girlfriend was an absolute smokeshow. One of the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my life. Wherever we went, it’s just she turned men into Jello wherever we went. It was one of the most amazing things I have ever seen.
I’ve dated some really beautiful women, but this particular girl, she had a whole other level of beauty and sex appeal that was, it was mesmerizing to watch. It was really fascinating. Just dudes just falling all over themselves trying to talk to her or be nice, and they’re just like. Plus she had, you know, big 34 Double D’s, and a lot of guys would just they’d be hypnotized like a little baby. “Let me suck on that, mommy.” Anyways.
And yes, she grew up without her father.
Same thing with this particular girlfriend. Her father died when she was six of a drug overdose, and her mother never dated anybody, so there was no father figure. And on top of that, she had an older brother who had mental health issues, and he was on medication, too, and they had a terrible relationship.
Her parents split up when she was 7 years old. To make the story short, we are now fighting in court. She tries to take almost 1/3 of my salary, and for now I can see my son only four times a month. In Poland, the country which I’m from, the judicial system also favors mothers, unfortunately.
She and her mother make my every visit unbearable. Last week as I was leaving their home she pushed me, so I fell on her mother, and they called the police trying to frame me and accuse of physical abuse.
Well, that just sounds like so much fun. Talk about family time. Geez.
Luckily, I have an audio recording of this which I have sent to the court and now I wait for them to give me a curator to be present during my visits.
So now you got supervised visits with the government just to make sure things don’t get out of hand. Doesn’t that sound like fun? What a hell of a way to raise your child. It’s almost like being in prison.
Due to this stress, I lost 15 pounds in the last 3 months, and I’m spending tons of money on my attorney. What hurts me the most is that my innocent son suffers from this drama. If he is about to spend his early years mostly with her, he’ll be very likely to follow the same unhealthy path.
I write this letter to you as a cautionary tale for your viewers. Gentlemen! VET THE GIRLS!
In big, bold letters.
Do not focus only on the first part of the book, take it all to your heart. Your job is not only to learn how to pick up a girl, but also how to qualify her and then how to maintain a healthy, long-lasting relationship. Don’t let your judgement be clouded by a pretty face and young, sexy body. It’s just a package, the content is what matters. I admit I was able to spot some little red flags here and there in the beginning, but the temptation was too strong for me to not try to work with them, as she was the hottest girl I was ever with.
It’s amazing. What did the late, great Doc Love say? “A beautiful woman is like kryptonite to the average guy. She has the power to make him fall apart.” And this particular girlfriend of mine. It’s like I said, just wherever we went. It could be a dude working in a store, and he was just fumbling all over himself. He couldn’t even concentrate. It was amazing. Never seen anything like it.
Now I pay my dues living this life of horror. This is the hardest lesson of my life, please take it from me. Be smart!
Best regards,
Bob
Again. This is why I say over and over, read it 10 to 15 times. You cannot just focus on the Pickup Skills and the Dating Skills. You got to learn the Relationship Skills and you got to take your time. You got to vet women properly. You’ve got to have somebody who’s easygoing, easy to get along with. You got to remember, the other thing is the honeymoon period lasts for 6 to 12 months. And so you have to understand that if you’re with a woman that knocks your socks off or in this case, the hottest woman that he had ever been with, your judgment is going to be clouded because of your feelings and your emotions, and you’ll talk yourself into putting up with all kinds of bullshit just because she’s hot.
And once the infatuation and the honeymoon period wears off, then and everything looks good and she doesn’t have mental health issues, you love her family. Again, these things are pretty easy to spot, but when you’re with the hottest girl you’ve ever been with, you’ll talk yourself into doing all kinds of stupid things. We all see it all the time. We have friends that are like it. How many of us? How many of you watching know dudes that got involved with a girl and he became totally pussy whipped and the chick was not a good woman?
I remember it was a buddy of mine when we were in our 20s. He was extremely handsome, good looking. His dad was rich. Nice car. He had everything. Born with a silver spoon in his mouth. But his dad was mostly gone because he was working and he was raised basically by the nannies and his alcoholic mother. And when it came to women, he was just an absolute pussy and a pushover. And so his looks and his nice stuff and his bling and the way he dressed got him in the door. But because he was so soft and squishy and the girls walked all over him, he constantly got cheated on by his girlfriends.
His high school girlfriend cheated on him with his best friend, and many girls. I remember one girlfriend he had in particular in her early 20s. Really cute, really cool girl. But she didn’t respect him at all because he was such a pussy. And she walked all over him and cheated on him constantly. They would break up and then he’d go groveling back to her and she’d promise to change. And he was just too soft. She didn’t respect him. She walked all over him. He dated her for several years and eventually he just realized that she wasn’t any better than his high school girlfriend, who had no integrity.
And he kind of settled. He married a girl that was just kind of average, but she’d been loyal and faithful to him. And you just see it in his eyes. I haven’t seen him in quite a few years, but it’s like in his eyes he was a broken man. And it’s tough. It’s tough to see people that you grow up with, people that you love, especially your close friends. And you look in their eyes and they’re just broken men. It’s just life has beat them down so much, and this guy had every advantage. His dad was extremely well off. He’s inherited all this wealth now and it’s like didn’t matter, he’s still a broken dude, and it’s sad. So you guys got to be smart.
You got to pay attention to how a woman is. Is she easy going? Is she easy to get along with? Are both of her parents in the picture? Does she have a good relationship with her mom and her dad? Does she respect her father? Does she admire her father? Does she look up to him? Does she trust his judgment? Is she calm around him? Is he the head of the household? Do all the women in the family, including the mother, respect the father? Or do they nag and berate him until he relents and gives in to what they want?
Because a man who’s a true alpha is going to rule the roost. He’s going to be the head of the household. He’s not going to put up with any bullshit. He’s going to put the girls in their place. He’ll put his wife in her place if he needs to, and they’ll respect him. And girls, I’ve just found that girls that don’t have a father or a good relationship with their father, they’re next to impossible to have a good, healthy relationship with because most of them just simply won’t do the work. Now there are girls that do come from broken homes and do the work, and they go to therapy and they turn their lives around.
But most people major and minor things, and they’re just lazy and they won’t do it. And there’s a lot of absolutely smoking hot women in this world that are truly messed up. If you’ve ever seen the hot and crazy matrix. It really is true. It really is true. The hotter they are, typically the crazier they are. Especially if dad did not do a good job. You have to pay attention to these things. If you go hang out with their family and in this case, the father is not around. But you notice the mother is kind of nutty.
And you know, if he had dated her long enough, eventually he would have found out that she was on antidepressants. The only reason he found out is because she decided to take herself off because of the baby’s health. But once she came off of those, that completely changed the chemistry in her brain. And she became a different person. It was like Jekyll and Hyde. I saw the same thing with my ex girlfriend. I was like, “who is this person? I didn’t even recognize her anymore.” I was like, “what is this? Where did my sweet, fun loving girlfriend go?” So you just can’t ignore these sayings. The red flags are red flags for a reason.
Take the time with The Book. Don’t be in a rush. Let the girl work for you. If you got, like I was talking about in a video I did the other day, it’s like if you’re going to get married, if you’re going to have a family, at least two years of dating, just because you spend enough time, you’re out of the infatuation period, and you pretty much are going to know everything about each other at that point. And if you get along well and you can work out your differences, then you should be relatively okay. It’s a good risk to take at that point.
But this guy was in barely three months into it and he slipped one past the goalie. I mean, I did something similar. I mean, we were close to five, six months into it when I slipped one past the goalie. But even still, it didn’t matter when she came off her antidepressants. It’s like, it was a hell of a mess. And it was a difficult time in my life, and I wouldn’t want to go through something like that again. I wouldn’t want any of you guys to go through it.
And this guy here is obviously got a good heart. He’s a good dude. He doesn’t have to share this stuff. He could just keep it to himself. But he writes in knowing that he can save other guys in trouble. So heed his warning. Heed my warning. Vet your girls properly. Don’t project what your fantasy is onto them and then ignore all the red flags.
So, if you guys got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly.
And as I talked about earlier in the video, if you guys haven’t already signed up to check out our Paying Members Only Content, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com click the “plans” tab at the top of your screen on any page of my Website, and you can do a seven day free trial and check out what content you get for your money. Typically I do about five of these type of Video Newsletters per week that only the Paying Members have access to. Plus, we have a weekly 3% Man Study Group Podcast, a weekly Mastering Yourself Study Group Podcast, where we go page by page in The Books, and it’s like an ongoing weekly class for our Paying Members.
Plus we have the full Viewer Questions Podcast. Yesterday we just finished editing the Menendez Brothers Case Video, which was really interesting. The girls all really got into it, did a lot of research. So that was a Podcast we filmed last week, because I guess next month (November 27th, 2024) it’s looking like they might get their case re-examined. It’s just something interesting that’s in the culture that everybody’s talking about. Plus, the girls were really into it, so, we had a lot of fun filming that and discussing that. I learned a lot of things.
Because I was growing up in the 80s when that whole thing, I think I was 19 when all that stuff happened with the Menendez Brothers happened, and, you know, I hadn’t really heard anything about them until just recently. And so there’s a lot of things that have come out that were in the case that I had no idea, because it was never reported by the media. I mean, imagine that the media doing a shitty job even when I was 19 years old, it’s like. And now seeing how incompetent and dishonest most of the media is, it’s like, wow, it just makes you look.
I look back in my life and I wonder like, “what was actually the truth.” As Confucius said, “Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.” And so that probably in the next week or so, I will be putting that in the Members Only Content on my Website. It’ll also be available for people that are subscribed to Members Only Content on YouTube, and for people that are subscribed to Members Only Content on Spotify.
And if you would prefer just to watch videos or on Spotify or YouTube, the links to join those Members Area in the description of this video. Also, to go to my Website and subscribe there. There is a link to that in the video description. Or you can just go to UnderstandingRelationships.com. Click the “plans” tab and choose Monthly or Annual plan for your seven day free trial, so you can check out what our exclusive Members Only Content is like. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.