I Suspect She’s Cheating With Her Ex At Work. What Should I Do?
Some things to consider if you believe your girl is cheating with her ex at work.
In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who is dating a nurse who works with her ex. Apparently there is a room at the hospital where all the nurses go to have sex. He shares several signs, clues and questionable behavior that he’s noticed that is causing him to believe that she is cheating with her ex. He asks my opinion on how to know for sure. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
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Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter. And the topic of today’s newsletter is going to be, “I Suspect She’s Cheating With Her Exit Work. What Should I Do?”
Well, this particular email from a guy. He says he’s been with his current girl for about three months now, and he’s dating a nurse who happens to work with her ex, I assume he’s a doctor, or maybe he’s a male nurse or whatever. But there’s some interesting things that go on at the hospital. Apparently, there’s a room in the hospital where all the girls go to have sex with the doctors or the other male nurses or whatever, or maybe their girlfriends if they’re a lesbian.
But it’s pretty well known that at least in this particular hospital, the nurses are doing a lot of naughty things. And what’s interesting is because I’ve been doing this over 20 years at this point, is that when I look at where there’s lots of cheating or the careers that women choose that have a high incidence of cheating, there’s plenty of videos where you got divorce attorneys, and one of the big ones is health care, nurses. Whatever reason, nurses are just freaks.
There’s a lot of disloyalty. There’s a lot of affairs that happen. Same thing with law enforcement, police and law enforcement. They’re probably one of the worst. You’d think, “Hey, people are the cops, the Police. They should be morally righteous.” It’s like they’re the worst offenders. And I laugh with my clients that are in law enforcement because I always get a chuckle out of it, and they laugh too. “Eh, no. What are you going to do?” But people are freaks.
That’s one thing I know. We’re sexual beings. And nurses have a really super high incidence of being disloyal and cheating. And this nurse happens to work with her ex. There’s a room in the hospital where, again, we’re all girls go and they have sex with whoever they’re hooking up with at the hospital. So right off the bat, if that’s the girl you’re dating and he’s got like, you know, several signs and clues and some questionable behavior that he shares, he’s like, “Ah, I don’t know, something looks pretty off here.” But he doesn’t have 100% definitive proof.
So you got to kind of be like Sherlock Holmes is, because you want to set the conditions. Because remember, you’re in the vetting process. People can hide who they are for about 90 days. And he’s right at about 90 days right now. And so, he’s starting to get a feel for what he’s really dealing with. This is why you got a vet, and you got to look at people’s actions and not just blindly trust and get carried away on your emotions. Like life is some kind of romantic Disney movie, because it’s not.
You’ll get your heart broken and your assets fleeced if you’re not paying attention and you’re delusional. So it’s important to keep your wits about you, and this guy is. And so, what you want to do, especially if you’re in the vetting process, is you want to make this your significant other, think that you trust them implicitly, because when they think you trust them, that’s when they’re going to slip up. But if you’re constantly challenging her on this and that and, “What’s going on with this?”
And she suspects that you’re suspicious and you’re not trusting her, she’ll just become better at lying and hiding it. But if she thinks you’re completely bamboozled and you trust her implicitly, that’s when she’ll slip up. And that’s what you want. You’re trying to get her to slip up as quick as possible before you get too far down the road, because the longer you’re with her, the harder it’s going to be to end the relationship.
And so, it’s imperative to make her at least her have the perception that you trust her so she makes a mistake and you can catch her, basically. So with that in mind, let’s go through his email.
Viewer’s Email:
I have been with my current girl for 3 months now. We had an intense connection from the beginning, and she has accelerated our relationship from day one. She told me she loved me after a week.
Yeah, come on. You know, if a woman saying, “I love you” after a week, usually what that means is she just says, “I love you” to everybody. And so, you got to kind of take that with a grain of salt. The woman’s not going to be head over heels in love with you after a week typically. Sometimes you get love at first sight but, that’s super high attraction on both parts. And that’s so rare it very almost never happens. So again, most girls you date a week later, she’s like, “I love you.” It’s like, yeah, probably not.
And we have had amazing sex the entire time. She would even send me texts saying how great our sex is, etc. She is an overnight nurse and works with her ex, which I’ve never shown concern about because she tells me whenever they talk or see each other.
Well, if they trust you and they care about you, and they care about looking good to you, they’re going to tell you about all guys that hit on them or asked them out or things that are going on at work or whatever. But when they stop, it’s usually because they don’t feel like you trust them and they’re just hiding things because they don’t want you to get upset.
Three weeks ago we got into a really bad argument after drinking.
Man, it’s like over the years, the amount of emails and phone sessions I’ve done with dudes that screw things up badly when they drink. It’s like, “Pfft.” A lot of guys just should not be drinking, especially if you’re one of those dudes that gets blackout drunk and doesn’t remember what happens.
And then you’re one of those guys that starts grabbing other women’s asses and you don’t even remember it sometimes in front of your girl, it’s like, “Phew.” If you can’t handle your drinking, you shouldn’t drink, especially if you’re blacking out and or you have a tendency to get drunk and have a bad argument.
And it took a few days for her to come around to talking about it and when she did, she told me it really hurt her but that we would “get through it.”
Since then, things have been strange. A few days after that she got up early for work, got her hair done, did her makeup more than she usually does, and bought a new perfume before work.
Huh. Interesting.
The next morning when she got off I noticed a thumb sized bruise on the back of her thigh. I asked her about it and she got defensive and said she gets random bruises.
Maybe she bumped into something at work. I don’t know, maybe she’s kinky. It’s hard to tell, but when you see random marks on her body show up in areas that maybe you’re the one that usually puts those random bruises there you weren’t the one.
She was supposed to work the next night but got called off and seemed very upset about it, when she usually loves being called off. Then a few days later she told me a newborn threw up on her scrubs and when she got home there looked like quite a suspicious stain.
A few days after that I laid out panties, I wanted her to wear for me. She left them sitting there until the night she worked next. I noticed they were gone but saw her wearing different ones. The very next day those panties were in the washer.
Well, if you say, “Hey, babe, I want you to wear these. I really like you in them.” And she doesn’t. What does that tell you? You’re not that important to her. She doesn’t care that much about looking good for you. And sometimes, if a woman is trolling you. She’ll not wear the panties that you like and wear them for somebody else, just to give you the finger. Some women are like that, man. That’s why you vet.
You can’t just go, “oh, we’re so great. It’s love at first sight. Oh, Corey, you don’t understand how good we feel.” Remember, this is a woman that told you after a week she loved you. Yeah, sure, sure she does. She just says, I love you to everybody. And there are lots of girls are like that. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” They say it to everybody. You got to take it on a case by case basis. But typically 99.9999% of the time women are not going to be in love with you after a week.
Among all of this her attitude has changed a little to being more annoyed with me about little things and less interested in sex. However, she still talks about our future/getting married/having kids.
It’s like, man, after three months, that’s just kind of ridiculous.
She still tells me everyday she loves me and even wrote me a sweet love letter the other day.
Well, that was nice. Again, you just got to look at our actions. You’re seeing some suspicious behavior, but nothing definitive. It’s not like you’re seeing texts, you know, at night. And then she’s like, “Oh, I got to go out to comfort a friend.” And then she comes home, hair all disheveled, makeup kind of messy, smells.
She comes home and goes right into the shower. “Oh, I’m just dirty. I want to I want to be clean for you.” It’s like, probably because you wanted to wash Chad Thunder Cocks jizz out of her glory hole.
She also still wants to be with me 24/7 when she and I aren’t working.
Well, that’s a good sign. The other thing is like, is her phone up? Or is it always face down? Does she hide her phone when you walk in the room? Does she put it away? Like, what do you see? You’ve got to pay attention to those things too. And if you have her password or you know it, if you know the password and you look in her phone and all of her WhatsApp messages or her texts, see who she’s talking to and when. Just be like Sherlock Holmes.
You got to think of yourself as like James Bond. If you ever watch the James Bond movies, when he’s get into somebody’s phone or the computer, he’s very sly. He doesn’t disturb anything, doesn’t want her to know that he looked. You’re just gathering data for your analysis.
And right now there’s some signs that something may be amiss. But maybe the panties, she just didn’t feel like wearing them that day or whatever, because she was mad at you. And that was her way of passively aggressively going, “No, I’m not wearing these. I know you like them, but I’m not.”
She even has called off worked a few times just to be with me.
You got to look at what is she doing now? Not what she did a month ago, but, like, what’s she doing today.
I’m nervous she’s sleeping with her ex at work.
Well, if that’s what you think, then you want her to think that you trust her completely, so she’ll slip up as quickly as possible, and then you can be on to the next. Or you can just turn her into a fuck buddy, Friends with benefits, sex playmate, that kind of thing.
She once told me there’s a room where nurses go and have sex, so it’s very possible.
Probably because she’s gone in there and had sex before. Well, obviously if she works with her ex, I would assume they probably had sex there.
And I have noticed other odd things like his schedule on her phone, random texts from him that she doesn’t seem to respond to, etc.
Well, if he’s sending texts and she’s ignoring them and not replying at all, that’s a good sign. But what that does tell me is he’s trying to get her attention and she’s, [ignoring them] because she’s got a boyfriend. She should say, “Hey, it’s late at night. You shouldn’t be sending me these things. I have a boyfriend now.”
But also since she seems to still show me love and what not, I’m confused and not sure what to do.
Bob
Well, I based on what you shared, it’s possible. Again, she’s in a career where women do a lot of cheating. So it’s important to just, you know, maintain the vibe that you trust her. And everything is great, even though you’re suspicious because you don’t know what you don’t know. Because it’s possible that maybe you’re just you could be reading things wrong, or maybe you’re a little insecure, or maybe you’re a cheater and you’ve cheated in the past, I don’t know.
But there’s just not enough evidence to risk blowing the relationship up. So again, think of yourself like Sherlock Holmes. Think to yourself like James Bond. If you are going to do a little snooping, make sure she has no idea about it. If you know what the password is to her phone. Check and see how she responds. What are the context of the conversations with the ex? And just see what she does. Because you know, how is she going to behave when you’ve been together six months or a year or two years?
Because typically it takes about two years to really vet somebody and get a good feel. If you’re one of those guys that wants to get married. I know a lot of people that are like, “don’t wait.” Like, “But you don’t understand Coach. The emotions and the feelings are so great. It’s just amazing. Super awesome. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.” But again, “Trust but verify.” As Ronald Reagan said. So again, you’re just going to have to keep your suspicions to yourself.
Let her think that you trust her and continue to look for other little inconsistencies, because, again, what you’re really trying to do is like, are you with a woman who really values loyalty or is it just an act? We don’t know yet. There are a few signs, but it’s just not enough to blow it up. Now, if you went into her phone and there’s all kinds of inappropriate stuff and nudes and “Oh, it was so hot the other day in the nurses room when you were pounding me from behind.”
And, “Oh, my, uh, my boyfriend saw the bruise that you put on my thigh. So you got to be careful that you don’t do that, because I don’t want him to get any suspicions.” It’s again, if she thinks you trust her implicitly, that’s when she’ll slip up. And then if you find out, then you know what you’re dealing with.
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