How To Live Life On Your Own Terms
How you can live life on your own terms without caring what other people think about you.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email success story from a nineteen year-old semi professional hockey player who shares how my work helped him to recover from a bad breakup, chase his dreams without fear and attract a great girlfriend who shares the same goals and values. He cut unsupportive toxic “friends” out of his life and now lives according to what makes him happy.
It’s another great testimonial of how you can break free from mindsets, people and things that no longer serve you. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
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He’s had a lot of great things happen in his life over the past couple of years, and he writes in sharing it. It’s always nice to share success stories, especially from somebody that’s been following me for quite a few years. The reality is when it comes to self-help, reaching your full potential, the things I talk about in Mastering Yourself, my second book, also all the concepts I tie together in both books in volume one of Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations, success is not an overnight thing.
I’m not a quick fix kind of guy. I have lots of tips, lots of things that can help people immediately, they can read all my books for free, but the reality is you have to do the work on yourself. It’s just like if you’re out of shape or you’re overweight, it’s not going to be an overnight thing. If you hate your job or your career, it’s going to take you some time to find a better job. This is just not something that happens overnight.
And if you’ve got a lot of things in your life that you want to change, typically what happens is guys get involved in How To Be A 3% Man, and they learn all the things in the book, and then they start looking at the rest of their lives and they go, “Wow, I’ve got a lot of work to do.” And so, great things take time. It’s always nice to go through a success story, like in this particular case, this guy is nineteen at this point, or some dude that that’s around my age, in his fifties. I’ve got guys in their sixties or seventies, they’re still learning. They’re still growing, trying to become better men, better human beings, and better optimize their lives.
And so, no matter what age range you’re at, it’s always great to see somebody that’s maybe a little further ahead of you and learning these things. Because let’s face it, life isn’t all sunshine and roses and unicorns. You have days that go really well, and you have days where things are going to go sideways. And I know people that are watching this, they’re at all kinds of different levels in their success.
Maybe somebody is watching this and they’re having a tough day and they’re doubting themselves. Maybe they went out on a date last night, and it didn’t go well. Maybe they went on a job interview yesterday, and that didn’t go well. Maybe they’re searching for a new job, and they haven’t found the right job yet. Maybe they’re trying to figure out where they want to live next, or they’re trying to sell their house. Whatever it happens to be.
Everybody’s got things that they’re working on, so it’s always nice to hear somebody else that’s applying these things successfully and getting great results, because it inspires those that are having a tough day. And for those who are having a great day, it inspires them to keep moving forward. Which is a big reason why I continue to do these video newsletters. I know a lot of people tune in and watch these things just because it helps keep them motivated and inspired to keep grinding on, even when they don’t feel like it.
What’s up Corey,
I’m a 19-year-old guy, and I want to tell you what great things your work has done for me. I’m a semi professional hockey player, chasing my goals and dreams, with an amazing girl by my side and an amazing small group of friends.
I found your work a few years ago, after a shitty break up. I had been with a girl who I really did like, but I was new to the game of dating and my beta bitch actions caused her to move on.
So in other words, like most people, pain is life’s way of telling us that we’re doing something wrong. And so, he was experiencing pain. And I know many of you have had the same kinds of experiences that I had when I tried to share this kind of information with friends, family, people that were close to me, where if you try to give the book to ten guys, you’d be lucky if one of them actually reads it.
It’s not until people are in pain that they recognize, “Wow, I need to do something about this. What was that dude’s book? What was that guy on YouTube that’s got the shaved head and the gray beard? Who’s that guy? How can he help me?” But if things are comfortable, they’re not going to do anything. They’re not open to it. It’s when things aren’t going well in life that people become open to getting involved in work like mine, because they’re looking for solutions.
I was upset, and I knew that I needed to fix something about my approach to dating. Literally right after the breakup, my hockey career really started to grow, and this demanded that I became more of a mature young man, and less like a 17-year-old boy. I studied your work, cut toxic friends off, met lots of girls, and learned the ins and outs of self-help.
The interesting thing is, when you really get involved in applying the fundamentals of the science of high achievement in your life, what’s going to happen is you’re going to have people in your life you thought were close to you and thought cared about you, and a lot of people do, but you’re going to find you’re going have people in your life that want you to be successful, but not more successful than them.
And so, when you start growing and becoming better, whether you’re dating more attractive women, or you’re having more fun, or you’re doing better in your career, you get raises, or you start a business you’ve always wanted to start, you’ll have people that you thought were on your team start trying to sandbag your success and doubt yourself.
In other words, they want to hold you back. Because when they see you turn into a bright spirit and start doing really well, that makes them feel uncomfortable, and they try to get you to conform to the way they think you should be, because it makes them feel better about the fact that they’re not doing anything to change and shape their own destinies.
And so, especially when you’re young, you’ve got to make sure you surround yourself with people that are actually on your team, people that love you when you’re doing well, but also love you and support and encourage you when you’re not doing so well. And when you’re not doing well, that’s when you find out who’s really on your team and who’s not. So, good on you for having the strength to cut the toxic people out of your life.
I saw firsthand that your work was helping me become the man I needed to be, professionally and personally. Needless to say, the ex came back and wanted me all to herself. I was unimpressed and essentially said “thanks, but no thanks.”
You know, that’s very satisfying. Because a lot of people complain, “Oh, an ex is an ex for a reason,” but the reality is, if you got dumped and you didn’t want to be dumped, rejection breeds obsession. And it’s nice when you start displaying your most attractive self, the ex comes back to you, and you’ve grown. You get to experience how they chase and pursue you.
And then, when you end the relationship, you can walk away with peace of mind, not feeling like you missed out, or “I lost the one,” or “I screwed up.” You can make the decision to end the relationship and move on for good. It’s good for your ego, it’s good for your self-esteem, and it’s good for your confidence.
I had grown since our breakup, and I realized that me and this girl had absolutely nothing in common and that her political and spiritual views were not at all in line with mine. For the first time, I was truly content with personal independence.
Time went on, and I continued to work on myself. Later that year, I met a cute girl at my school that really knocked my socks off. She had a great family, excellent morals, matching spiritual views, and she’s got a 10/10 body, (Volleyball player).
Nice. You’re both athletes, so of course you have a lot in common. People who like the same things tend to like each other. Like attracts like.
She had me hooked, but hockey was just more important.
Because he’s focusing on his purpose and mission. That’s what a man does more than anything, especially if he’s involved with a woman and she’s not supportive. Because the right girls will support you and encourage you in your purpose and mission. And if a woman doesn’t support what you do for a living, or what you love, or what you’re passionate about, she’s the wrong woman for you. End of story. You can’t reach your full potential if you’ve got somebody that’s trying to hold you back and sandbag your success. That’s just the reality. You need good teammates in your life.
I was constantly out of town and balancing my senior year of high school, so I didn’t have much time to get serious with her. (This would prove to work in my favor.) We saw each other around once or twice a month, and it was more and more beautiful each time. I left her craving more of me, but I remained cool and stayed focused on hockey and school.
Because again, that’s his purpose and mission in life, at least at this point in his young life. As I talk about in “Mastering Yourself,” what’s interesting is when I was young, when I was his age, I had the vision that I was going to get into real estate, the buy, fix and resell of single family homes. I figured I was going to be doing that the rest of my life, and only that.
But what I didn’t understand, because nobody taught me these things, is that as you evolve, and you grow, and you have experiences, you tend to get attracted to other things in life. You have other interests that pop up. You have other opportunities that come your way when you become exceptional at whatever you become exceptional at.
So, you’ve got to give yourself permission to kind of go with the flow and be open to new possibilities. Like in his case, he’s not going to be able to play hockey forever. Maybe he plays hockey, makes a bunch of money and then decides to do something else. Maybe he becomes a coach in the hockey leagues. Maybe he becomes an announcer on radio or TV and announces the games, or he reports on it or talks about it.
We just never know where life is going to take us. That’s why it’s so important to trust our core, trust our heart, trust what feels right for us. It has to be what we feel is right for us, not what other people think is right for us.
Needless to say, she eventually wore me down.
Kind of like Donna Reed’s character did to Jimmy Stewart in “It’s a Wonderful Life.” I love that movie, because of how it demonstrates old school masculinity and femininity, where you have natural sexual polarity in the way women tend to operate. Not this feminist crap that you see on TV in the news and the media that’s totally against our innate natural tendencies that men and women are drawn to.
We were seeing each other more and more, and we became exclusive a few months later. We’ve been dating for 2 years now, and I’ve never been happier. I get to travel all over North America, play the sport that I love, and I’ve got a beautiful girl at home with the same values and interests as me. Both of us love to work out, we are both completely sober of any drugs or alcohol, and family is always first.
Good for you, dude.
Many of my teenage peers think I’m boring and I couldn’t give a shit less!
Well, the reality is those people that think you’re boring, wait another ten years and you’ll be way ahead of where they are ten years from now, because they’re going to stay stuck. You’re going to leave people behind. That’s the unfortunate reality. Not everybody is going to be with you your whole life on your fun bus, and that’s okay. And new people will come into your life later on down the road, and jump on your fun bus, and be excited to be your teammate and be with you for your whole life.
I’ve got my girl, my close friends, and my purpose. The circle I’ve built myself is meant to please me, and no one else.
That’s exactly right, my man. That’s how it’s supposed to be.
So, thank you Corey. I’m so glad I found your work at the young age that I did. I’m incredibly excited for my future, and I’ll always be a huge fan of yours.
Thanks for everything,
That’s awesome, dude. Congratulations. Man, knowing all this stuff and having these kinds of experiences at nineteen that took me basically decades to learn this stuff, it makes everything I do for a living worth it when I get an email, especially from somebody your age.
You’ve taken all this information, you’ve applied it at your at your young age, and now you’re getting the same results at your young age that took me a lot longer, until I was in my thirties, to have these things. So, that basically cut more than a decade off of your life of having to learn all of these things. Just imagine where you’ll be when you’re in your thirties compared to where I was. And that’s the whole point. It’s to make the next generation better than the generation that came before it.
So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge in your personal or your professional life and you like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly.
“Nobody will understand your motivations for why you do what you do and love what and who you love. You must live your life to make yourself happy first, because you can’t give away what you don’t already have for yourself. If you try to live your life to please others or according to the unreasonable expectations of other people who think they know better than you do what is best for you, you’ll simply end up frustrated, angry and miserable. The world needs more people who have come alive on the inside because they unconsciously give everyone around them and those who observe them permission to do the same in their own lives.” ~ Coach Corey Wayneweek.