Good Looks Only Get You So Far With Women If You’re Soft
Why good looks only get you so far with women, but they will reject you for being weak, needy and soft as a man.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email success story from an 18 year old viewer who says he is very good looking, but due to his constant weak, insecure, off-centered behavior, he always got dumped and blown off. He shares a success story that happened after 3 years of studying my work, when he finally read my book 3% Man for the first time this past summer and is on read number 6.
He has been with his girlfriend now for over 7 months. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
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First off, I would like to say thank you for everything. My life has changed completely thanks to your work. When I first found your material, I was depressed and miserable after being dumped by my girlfriend. I am 18 years old and have been following your work for 3 years now. I used to just watch the YouTube videos, and it was so painful to realize how much of a weak, insecure, off-centered man I was when it came to women.
I studied off and on for about 2 years. I would see success, then think I didn’t need your work anymore, and then I would fuck up and come right back to it.
Well, it only took three years, but he finally got around to reading “3% Man.” When I do phone sessions with guys that are struggling with women, I’ve yet to encounter a guy that’s like, “Yeah, I’ve read your book 20 times.” Almost all of the men that I do phone sessions with have read it once or twice, or they’ve been following me for several years and only cherry-picked here and there, and that’s a big reason why they’re struggling.
What’s interesting, really high IQ guys are like, “This doesn’t apply to me, Corey. You don’t understand. I can just read something once.” I’m like, “No.” They still struggle. And they don’t like accepting it because, obviously, I tell them reality when we’re in the middle of the phone session. But the reality is, you’ve got to read and learn the book 10–15 times to get to know it well. You’ve got to understand, we’ve all been propagandized by TV, movies, media, news, society.
When you hear the same thing over, and over, and over again, you just accept it as truth, even if it’s false, even if it’s a lie. When you think about movies and television programming, they’re designed to illicit strong emotions in you. And so, if you’re being presented a false archetype of how a man is supposed to act — a man is after this really beautiful, amazing woman, he behaves in a way that’s incorrect, and then he gets the girl and you get the strong music, you feel the emotions — then you get anchored to thinking and feeling that way is normal.
Especially if you grow up in a house where you don’t have a good example from your parents or who your parents are involved with, to know how to behave and act around women in ways that create attraction. And so, a big part of why you need to read “3% Man” 10 to 15 times is you’re trying to undo that programming. You’re undoing that thinking, that mindset. That tape keeps running in your head subconsciously, and most people are completely unaware of it.
That’s why, when I’m doing phone sessions with guys and they start explaining their story and their thinking, their limiting beliefs and their self-perception come out. And I’ll point that out to them so they can recognize how, without realizing it, they’re sabotaging themselves.
This was a continuous process up until this past summer where I decided to actually read the book. I’ll try not to sound arrogant when I say this, but I am extremely attractive. I can initially attract almost any woman I meet, but my old habits used to always leave me heartbroken. I was even worse than you were in the stories in the beginning of the book. I was absolutely clueless; I would do 100% of the pursuing, I was moved off center easily, I was insecure and jealous, and did absolutely everything wrong.
Yeah, reading this reminds me of an old friend of mine. He was really good looking. He had a sister that was a couple of years older, and she was absolutely fucking gorgeous, and everybody wanted to date her. And the thing that was funny about my friend, he was extremely handsome and girls loved him, but as soon as he started dating a girl and got a few weeks in, he would absolutely turn into the biggest fucking pussy and they would walk all over him. They would cheat on him, and he would keep putting up with it, sometimes for years. He was just so soft.
And what’s interesting is his father was very wealthy and he was mostly raised by his mother, who was an alcoholic, and his nannies, which were women. And so, he was basically raised by a bunch of women. So, he was a really nice man. The problem was, he was too nice, he was too soft. And his dad was a player. He’d been married several times. He cheated on his wife, he didn’t care. He’d go up to to women that were more than half his age. I mean, the dude was in his sixties and dating 20 year old women. It’s like, he didn’t care, he was a man.
But because he was never around, because he was always building his empire, his ex-wife and the female nannies raised his children. And so, that’s why he just became very soft. He was very squishy. And then he ended up marrying a girl that he really wasn’t that into, because he’d been hurt so much that he just settled. It’s kind of sad. I haven’t seen him in a lot of years, but the last time I saw him, man, he just was beat down. He just had that beaten dog look in his eyes. It was sad.
This summer I was seeing 5 different girls consistently. My friends couldn’t believe how successful with women I had become. When I got to college, my confidence was through the roof, and in result, on the very first day I was eating in our dining hall when an absolutely gorgeous 10 came up to me. It’s funny because she is exactly as you described in your book as your type — 5’2”, tan skin, heavenly body, dark hair, beautiful hazel eyes, etc.
Yeah, that particular girl, I saw her a few years ago and she did not take care of herself. It was heartbreaking. That’s one of the things that’s tough about getting older, man. It’s like, father time is not kind to most people, especially if you don’t take care of yourself.
I asked for her number and later made a date after she reached out. Although I was infatuated with her, I kept an abundance mindset. My success continued as I was seeing about 4–5 different women initially. She kept pursuing me more and more, and eventually I cut all the others off. I had done everything right to the point where she asked to be exclusive just 3 weeks after meeting each other. I am currently reading the book for the 6th time, and I have a long way to go.
Well, at least you’re reading it. And the thing that’s really super important for your situation, where you’re at, is you’re going to need the relationship skills. And they really don’t come into play until several months down the road in the relationship. And a lot of guys, they get the initial success and they throw the book out of the window like, “I don’t need this.” And then, a year or two later she’s wanting to leave and has lost interest, and then they go back feverishly trying to read the book and figure out where they went wrong.
You’ve got to put the time in because, remember, even at 18, you’ve been propagandized for basically 18 years of your life with false archetypes. And so, whether you realize it or not, you’re thinking in a way that is the opposite of the way the Creator designed you. So you’ve got to fix that.
I still fuck up, but I am always able to raise her interest back to the magical 95% range [9–10 range]. Now, reading the book has become a mindset. We have been dating for 7 months, and the “honeymoon stage” is still in full effect.
Usually, it lasts 6 to 12 months… most of the time.
Sorry for the long email. I hope it finds you well, but I just wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my heart, as well as let other younger followers know that YOU DON’T HAVE TO TEXT all the time.
Remember, this dude’s 18. I see a bunch of smartass guys around his age saying, “Coach, you don’t understand.” I’m like, “Okay, bruh. Let me know how that works out.”
My girlfriend does 100% of the pursuing, and I basically see her whenever I want. She’s amazing and I’ve never been happier. READ THE BOOK!
There was a guy I saw in the comments this morning complaining like, “You’re always telling people to read the book 10 to 15 times. Stop repeating it.” I repeat it all the time, because that’s what a coach does. I teach the fundamentals. I teach the fundamentals of the science of high achievement. And I keep going over and over and over it. But, at the end of the day, a lot of guys don’t listen. And the more I say it, there will be guys that will listen to it, and that’s the point.
My goal as a guy who teaches self-reliance, as a life coach, is I want you to get to the point where you don’t need me. I don’t want you to have to have expensive coaching programs or keep coming back and throwing a bunch of money in my direction. Which is nice, but I want you to become self reliant, so you don’t need me. Then you can carry this knowledge forward into your future, put it into your kids, and the society and people around you, because that’s what makes the big difference in the world.
So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge you you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book coaching session with yours truly.