How you can overcome a bad breakup and find love again, even when it seems hopeless.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email success story from a viewer who got dumped by his fiancée and his world fell to pieces. He details how a friend turned him onto my work and how, over the course of the last three years, it changed his life and enabled him to meet a new woman and have the best relationship that he’s ever had.
It’s a great, inspiring success story that no matter how bad things seem after a breakup, recovery and something better will come with enough patience, time and effort. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
*Disclosure: This article contains affiliate links. An affiliate link means I may earn referral fees if you make a purchase through my link, without any extra cost to you. Thank you for your support.
Well, I thought this would be a good one, because this is a success story about three years in the making. This particular guy was engaged, had a fiance, then got dumped by her. A good friend of his turned him on in my work, and that started him on a journey, which he details very well on all the ups and downs and things that he went through to meet his current girlfriend. And I know a lot of people come to me because they just had a breakup or are trying to get over one, or maybe they’re trying to get an ex back, because one of the worst things that you go through with a breakup is just the pain — the pain of that loss and then trying to figure out who you are again and getting back to enjoying life without that person being there.
And at times it can feel hopeless. I mean, you’ll see in this guy’s email, he had some pretty dark thoughts after it happened. It’s just natural to feel like your life is over. And so, the goal is for those of you that are in this situation to show you another inspiring story of how somebody learned what was in How To Be A 3% Man, as well as Mastering Yourself, my second book, and applied it and got great results.
I mean, even at 51 years old, it’s just constant change, constantly having things thrown at you that you don’t expect, and also things in your life that may have been really important at one point now or not, and you have new interests. It’s like, you’re always able to do new things, whether you’re selling your house and you’re moving to a new neighborhood, or a new city, or a new state, or maybe even a new country, or quitting a job that you’ve been at for ten or fifteen years. And then you move across the country or the world to do something completely different, and you start all over creating a new group of peers and friends.
New beginnings are exciting, but they also can be very scary, because there are so many unknowns. It’s like, you don’t know when things are going to turn around for you. And that’s why it’s so important to be focused on your mission and your purpose in life, putting your head down, getting the work done, even when you don’t feel like it, to work towards what it is you want to create. Because everything takes time. Great things take time, whether it’s business or a career, getting through college, dating and finding somebody that you actually like hanging out with and who likes hanging out with you on a consistent basis. Working out, losing weight, getting in shape — it all takes time. Nothing happens overnight, at least not for the overwhelming majority of people.
I know there’s a slim chance of you reading this out of all the stories you get, but you improved my overall life in relationships and women that I date, that I had to send you this success story.
Well, you’re in luck. I chose your email. And for those of you that want to send an email, maybe you’ve got a good question or a good topic, something you want me to cover in a future video newsletter, send it to Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com.
When I first started this journey, I was engaged to this Australian girl. Obviously, at the time when she broke up with me, I felt like it was sudden and extremely harsh.
Well, women statistically, about 70–75 % of the time, are the ones ending the relationship, and most men just have no idea. They totally didn’t see it coming, whether it’s a guy getting cheated on by his wife or his girlfriend, or he thinks everything is awesome with his wife or girlfriend, and then he gets served with divorce papers. It’s just shocking for most dudes. “I just I didn’t see it coming.” I hear that all the time, when I do phone sessions with guys, “I had no idea. I didn’t see it coming.”
I was obviously depressed, even to the point I was debating on taking my own life, (I moved my whole life to Australia for this girl).
Well, that’s part of your problem, unless you wanted to actually live in Australia. Over the years, I’ve had lots of phone sessions and gotten lots of emails from guys that did that. They sell their house, they quit their job. They move across the country, or sometimes the world, to be with a particular woman, and then oftentimes within a few weeks or a month or two of getting there, the woman just dumps them. And now they’re in a strange city. They’ve got a new job. They’re in a new place. They completely nuked their life where they were before, and now they’re somewhere completely single, and they don’t really know anybody. And that happens to so many people.
One day, one of my friends showed me your YouTube videos on dating. I have to confess, the first time I watched your stuff I thought you were the biggest asshole who didn’t understand “love” and was only about the hook up and sex culture, and that my girl was different than what other guys wrote about.
Well, at the end of the day, guys are interested in sex. We’re visual creatures. That’s the reality. And you labeling me a jerk, or an asshole in this particular case, is a way to label what you’re learning from me, because you didn’t like the message you were getting. You didn’t want to hear the truth, because hearing the truth means that you’ve got to deal with your own crap. And most people don’t like to deal with their own crap. They’d rather just paper over it and pretend everything is fine.
Little did I know, almost 100% of your work is not BS. I was soooo much in emotional pain that I didn’t want to feel it anymore. I delved deep in your work amongst other things. I stopped counting the times I listened to your Audible book when I reached 17 times, and if I had to guess it would be 21.
Speaking of which, ignoring things, obviously, if you’ve seen any of the recent video of our President, you’re like, man, that dude is fading fast. Anybody want to place a wager on when Kamala Harris takes over and becomes President? I don’t think he’ll make it twelve months. I could be wrong. It’s an interesting topic.
Any time I could squeeze your book in, I did. Gym, on the road, at home, literally anytime I could listen to you I would.
So, these are the actions of somebody who is a serious student, somebody who’s hit the wall. Obviously, in his case, he moved to another country for a woman, for his fiancee, and he got dumped. Obviously, he was in a lot of pain and he wanted to get out of that pain, and so instead of using drugs or alcohol or food to cover it up and paper over it and pretend everything was fine, he decided that he needed to learn something new. And so, obviously, he got into “How To Be A 3% Man” and really started working on learning it and implementing it.
I wanted to never feel the pains of losing someone I loved. Let’s just say I had enough.
So, I talk about this a lot. Whether it’s losing weight or getting out of a bad relationship or recovering from a breakup or losing your job or bankruptcy, whatever it happens to be, it’s like, people have to get to the point where they’re in so much pain, they’re just like, “That’s it. Enough of this. I’ve had it. I’m making these changes,” and they resolve to move forward. That’s typically the only time people really open to change their lives. They basically hit the wall. What they were doing is not working for them anymore.
It turned my life around. I went to the Philippines to fight in MMA there. Women from countries all over were drawn to me — Georgians, Aussies, Germans, British, Irish, Italian, Filipinas, you name it.
Sounds like an all you can eat buffet.
It was so easy, and I didn’t have to really do anything. I saw that it was just too easy when other guys did not know what to do. I had people ask for my advice, and I would always point them in your direction.
I met my new girlfriend in the Philippines, and I remember grabbing her social media, but that was it. To be honest, I was too busy weighing my options at the time with all the female prospects that were interested in me. I was in “a plenty mindset,” that even though she was beautiful, there were others out there for me to pick and choose from. After about 10 months, I had an MMA event. I had to go to Toronto, Canada, and I was wondering who I knew there at the time. I remembered her telling me she was from there. I messaged her, and she was keen on seeing me.
Pretty interesting. That’s what happens. You have a life of abundance. Obviously, in an MMA fight, women see you in the octagon beating the crap out of your opponent, (hopefully), and it’s a very masculine thing. It’s going to make a feminine woman feel very safe. It takes a lot of guts to get up in front of the whole world, in essence, and do MMA like that, and potentially get your ass beat in front of the whole world as well.
Honestly, at first, she tested me a lot with not messaging me or just being vague at times, (and she was dating other guys), but that did not bother me. I knew in my heart of hearts that I was the better man. I gave her space, always led and told her what I wanted and did not make any compromises on anything. On the first time we saw each other again, I made the move to kiss her without any hesitation. (She told me later on, she was so shocked that even in her head she was like, “Oh my, he is confident.”) We ended up having sex that night also, multiple times.
Hang out, have fun, hook up.
Covid hit months later after a few visits. I live where sleepy Biden is at, (Delaware), and she was so anxious about us and just everything. With your help, I knew I was supposed to be the mountain she needed to lean on. I took charge of making her life easier. I comforted her, I made online date nights, I made sexy video chats. Anything I could do I did, so she was safe and happy. I was there to give in this relationship.
She recently told me she wouldn’t have coped if I wasn’t there with her. Since then, I have seen her again when I went back recently to Canada with a couple’s visa. Let’s just say, she could not keep her hands off me for Christmas and in New Years.
The reason why I write this is because tonight she told me how much she LOVES ME WITH ALL HER HEART and tells me all the time how much of an impact I made on her life.
Well, remember, love is about giving, and that means giving without attachments. You’re giving just for the joy of giving. You don’t require anything in return. Now, it doesn’t mean you just give and give and give and get nothing back, because obviously, you want to see the other person’s reciprocating, but you’re not attached to an outcome.
If you give from your heart and it’s truly from your heart, then you just give for the joy of giving, because it makes you feel good. You don’t really care so much about how the other person shows up. Because when you care, then you get butt hurt and you get upset when they don’t react the way you want. And when you get butt hurt and upset, you display weakness, which is extremely unattractive
She told me how she loved when I gave her the reason to come and go. And she had the freedom to choose me, and how it was easy.
“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free,” as Thich Nhat Hanh says.
She told me when she told the other guy she was seeing on and off for almost 5 years that she was talking to a guy in the U.S., and she could not see him anymore because she knew how I felt and “respected” what I wanted from her.
Cool. So, she got rid of all the other dudes.
She said the way I acted was out of the ordinary, and she had a way of finding flaws in guys, but she was always drawn in and always wondered about me. She couldn’t help herself.
Coach Corey Wayne you have changed my life. I can’t express the gratitude on how you helped me change into my better me. I will always be a student of yours and will always listen to your book. If I could kiss your beautiful bald head I would.
Well, I appreciate the offer, but only if it was a really hot girl I might allow it.
Yours truly, a 3% made by you. Thank you for everything
Well, you did the work, dude. And so, here’s to you. Cheers! Welcome to the 3% Club.
If you haven’t read “How To Be A 3% Man” yet, my first book, or “Mastering Yourself,” you can read them for free at UnderstandingRelationships.com. If you’ve got a great question or success story you want me to consider, send it to Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com. And if you’d like to get my help personally, whether it’s a personal challenge or a professional challenge, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly.
“Breakups are hard because our identity becomes wrapped up in who we are as a person in the relationship. When that person is gone from our lives, we often feel like we don’t know who we are anymore, because so much of our life revolves around being in a relationship that no longer exists. It takes time to heal and rebuild your life to get back to a place where you love and enjoy your time being single and learning to have fun again. It often takes several years of being single, learning from your past and enjoying your life before you are truly ready for a new love story to happen. Give yourself permission to be a beginner again and create who you are and who you want to become. Life is a process of constant re-creation” ~ Coach Corey Wayne