Covert Narcissistic Women

Coach Corey Wayne
11 min readMay 20, 2024
Photo by iStock/breakermaximus

Some behaviors and patterns to look for to spot and avoid covert narcissistic women.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer whose email I answered in a previous newsletter titled, “Stuck In Limbo While My Girlfriend Is Trying To Find Another Guy.” He’s moving out next week and they are going their separate ways. He says he wished he would have listened to me sooner instead of ignoring the many red flags she displayed. His therapist said she is a covert narcissist. He shares what she said and he learned about this behavior as a heads up to other viewers to spot and avoid these kinds of women. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

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Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter. And the topic of today’s newsletter is going to be, “Covert Narcissistic Women.”

With this particular email is from a viewer. And I answered a previous email of his in the newsletter titled, “Stuck In Limbo While My Girlfriend Is Trying To Find Another Guy.” So he’s actually says he’s moving out next week, which is already happened because this email came in a few weeks ago. And so, what’s interesting is he’s like, “I wish I would have listened to you sooner because I saw all these red flags and I ignored them because she was hot.”

And so, what’s interesting is he has a, you know, a therapist he’s been seeing, which I’m all for therapists when they’re good, and they’re helpful. If you’re going to a therapist, make sure you like them and they’re helping you, especially if you’re in couples therapy. You and your girl need to like the therapist. If only one of you likes the therapist, you need to fire them and find somebody that’s really good that you feel like is helping bring the two of you together, instead of siding with the wife.

If she’s some, you know, therapist with daddy issues because there’s plenty of them out there as well. Not all therapists are good. Just because they got a license to do that stuff doesn’t mean they’re actually competent and good at what they do. So find somebody that you like, somebody that’s really good, maybe somebody that comes from referral or whatever. But this guy is nice enough to share some insight because he’s like, so many things happen with his girlfriend.

And, you know, he got gaslighted to the point where he was doubting himself and doubting his reality. And he had a good therapist, it seems like. And she really pointed out that, “hey, this ex-girlfriend of yours was a covert narcissist.” And so, he shares this because he wants you guys, the audience obviously, to learn, to help spot this behavior, so you can see these red flags. If you encounter women like this, than you can dip before things get really bad. But in this case, this guy was just waiting. You know, he’s learning after the fact.

Photo by iStock/Liudmila Chernetska

Viewer’s Email:

Hey Corey,

I wanted to bring something to the attention of your viewers that might be helpful. You answered my last email in your video, “Stuck In Limbo While My Girlfriend Is Trying To Find Another Guy.” That was a brutal wake up call. I’m moving out next week as I don’t have a guarantor and she doesn’t have the money to move.

I’ve realized through research that my now ex was a covert narcissist. The red flags and signs were there early on, and I looked past it because I was so enamored with her beauty.

The Cho Cha is hypnotizing Corey.

I’ve realized she sex, and love bombed me in the beginning. Constant sex, saying I was the love of her life, followed a few months later with her yelling, criticizing, and devaluing me.

Yeah, the narcissist has a really low self-esteem. They don’t think highly of themselves, and they basically perceive themselves as a steaming pile of dog shit. And so, they do everything they can to project that onto other people, devalue, de-elevate them. Because if you’re a narcissist and you can make other people around you lower than you, then hey, you feel better about yourself. “Look how shitty they got it. I projected all my shit onto them.” So you got to pay attention because these women are out there.

She also told me early on when things were bad with her ex, she would flirt with other guys and lead them on (touching their arms, etc.)

So she’s telling you she’s not a loyal person. Even when she’s in a relationship. She’s totally thinks it’s normal and okay to be with a guy who thinks he’s in a relationship with her while she flirts with other dudes.

She even did this in front of him to punish him.

Yeah. When a woman rubs other men in your face that’s like you tap out after that. A woman disrespects you to that point where she thinks it’s going to help her or make her case look better if she rubs other men in your face or was like, “Oh, look, I got a new guy I’m fucking. Oh, I can go get laid by this other person.” It’s like, “Hey, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.”

Photo by iStock/alexey_ds

Because at that point, she’s not trying to fix things. She’s trying to hurt you, and she’s trying to make you feel bad because she feels bad on the inside. And it’s like. You just you don’t work with that. You just look at her and say, “I love and value myself. You’re obviously not trying to fix things. You’re not trying to be a good girlfriend. You’re not trying to win me back. You’re just doing things to make me feel like shit because you feel like shit on the inside. So good luck with the new guys. I wish you all the best. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.”

I looked past all of this because the good times were SO good. I was thinking with my dick. She blamed me constantly, only took accountability when she had to, and was passive aggressive.

She had been accusing me of sexually assaulting her near the end of our relationship, and while I didn’t think I did, I was gaslit into believing it was true. My friends and therapist now assure me I never sexually assaulted her, that she set me up in situations where I would try to instigate sex so she could manipulate me and cause drama. The shame almost led me to taking my own life.

Bro. No woman is worth that.

I’m glad I didn’t. The shame was an attempt to manipulate and control me.

Yeah, that sucks, Man. But I’m glad that you shared this email, because it will help other dudes that will watch this.

The realization she is a narcissist came reflecting on an event a few days after valentine’s day. She went out clubbing with her friends all night for her friend’s birthday. She came home at 4am and I was home after partying all night too, and we talked about our night. I told her I wasn’t cool with her clubbing, and she told me guys flirted with her.

She looked at me angrily saying she liked the attention, guys saying she was special and beautiful, because I didn’t make her feel that way. After she started yelling at me, and I broke up with her. She then screamed, “I’m going to ruin your life! I’m going to fuck up your life!”

Photo by iStock/golubovy

Yeah. Not a good sign.

After I wouldn’t argue with her, I noticed her calling the police. She said she put in a sexual assault report and that I deserved it, calling me a bad person, cruel, unlike her because she decided not to press charges. I foolishly took her back and she fucked my brains out 3 times in the morning. I realize now this was her sex bombing me.

Yeah. There are women out there that are fucking Froot Loops. I had a friend of mine, a guy I know, that many years ago when he was younger, when he was in high school, he was very in love with his high school girlfriend. And, you know, they’re underage at the time, she sent him nudes. And years later, he’s in his early 20s and those nudes were still on there. And he was dating a chick who was crazy and wacky, and she got pissed off at him, called the police and said, “Oh, he’s got nudes on his phone.” And so, the police showed up and they’re like, “hey, give us your phone.”

He’s like, a young kid at the time, I think he was only like 19. And, those pictures are there. But because it met the definition, because the person was under age, even though he was under age at the time, and they were both under age, and she sent them to him. He had a district attorney that was just looking to check a box, some fucking psychopathic district attorney. I mean, just look what’s going on with Trump. Some Marxist leftist dude is just thinking about his promotions and his career it’s like he doesn’t give a fuck if he screws up some dude’s life.

And so, this guy ended up having to plead guilty because they were going to put him in jail for like 15 years or whatever it was. And they were saying, “Well, guys like you that go to jail, you don’t do too well in prison. Basically saying, “Hey, you’re going to get your ass kicked every day.” And so, he’s a young kid, broke, doesn’t have any money, doesn’t know what to do. And they’re like, “Well, if you just sign this, you’ll have to register as a sex offender. And other than that, you’ll be fine.” And so, he didn’t have the money to fight it.

And then the DA didn’t give a shit. He just needed to stack more bodies basically, so he could get his promotion. And so, that, you know, followed him his whole life. And so, what was interesting about that, is that the girl later calls, “Oh, I’m sorry. I take it all back. It didn’t actually happen. I’m just, you know.” And they’re like, “Well, you reported it, so now we have to investigate it.”

Photo by iStock/Jeremy Walter

And despite that, it’s like, you know, it kind of ruined that guy’s life. It’s cost him a lot of money. It’s cost him a lot of jobs and things that he can’t get because he dated a psycho woman who did something like that. And so, when you have women that behave this way. You got to get the fuck away from them.

Later, she said she lied about filing a report as they wouldn’t take one over the phone to “scare me so I wouldn’t do it again.” I told her I was afraid of her, that it was emotional abuse and manipulation.

Which it definitely was.

Yet she continued to blame her actions on me and say I deserved it. She broke up with me a week later and I’m glad she did. I recognized her lying often near the end, yet I still didn’t end it. I learned about trauma bonds and how difficult those are to break. The gaslighting, lying, and abuse have only gotten worse since we broke up. I hooked up with a girl I met at a bar a week after we broke up. She found out as I childishly made a post on Reddit saying I hooked up with someone who’s a Yoga Instructor and has a better body than my ex. It turns out, she was secretly following me and saw it.

I was like, what does it say in The Book? James Bond, Gentlemen, don’t kiss and tell. And you’re fucking posting this shit to Reddit when you’re living with a psycho? Come on Dude. That’s a bad way to go.

I’ve blocked her on everything now. She was trying to hoover me back by being sweet, dangling sex in front of me by straddling me in bed naked in the morning as I touched her, yet said she didn’t want sex. I ended her sleeping and cuddling in my bed as well as I know she only wants the attention, she doesn’t care about me.

Corey, I wish I would’ve listened to you and saw the red flags earlier. Now I’m wiser for this experience. Hopefully your followers can learn from this and not be as blinded as I was. It’s taking everything in my power to not feel like a loser, a fool, and an idiot for believing she ever actually loved me.

Bob

Photo by iStock/Wirestock

Well, I would say she definitely cared for you, but you got so manipulated and so bamboozled. It’s like these things sting. But you know what the good news is? It makes you stronger. Now you know what to look for. And you have shared this email that is public. So I appreciate that because it’s going to help a lot of dudes avoid the red flags that you ignored. By the way, if you guys haven’t noticed or haven’t seen the Videos where I’m talking about our Exclusive Members Only Content that we started, I’ve been doing six additional Video Coaching Newsletters per week where we’ve got a 3% Man Study Group.

We’ve got a Mastering Yourself Study Group, those members. And so, we’re going like page by page through both of My Books (3% Man & Mastering Yourself) and really picking them apart with myself, Chunky and The Girls. And you know, we’re getting a really good response to that from the paying members. So in the description underneath this video, if you’re watching it on YouTube, there are links to become a paying Subscriber on my Website, UnderstandingRelationships.com.

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Coach Corey Wayne

Life & Peak Performance Coach. I Teach Self-Reliance. Subscribe To My Newsletter To Read My eBooks “3% Man” & “Mastering Yourself” Free: http://bit.ly/CCWeBooks